I'm So Busy!

I'm So Busy!

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Tim Udouj, and the scripture is Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

 

On the college campus where I'm a pastor, I have a little game I like to play. It goes like this: I simply ask a student, "How are you doing today?" and then I wait for their response. The funny part is that 9 times out of 10 the answer goes almost exactly like this: "I am sooooo busy today! In fact, I'm headed to the library now, and then I've got several meetings tonight! I'm sooooo busy!" It's become a running joke that I'll just go ahead and finish the sentence before they can even get it out.

One of the things we have been talking about is how we daily tell ourselves lies, and what it would be like to replace those lies with the truth. I think one of the lies that we start to believe at a very early age is this: "My busyness is proof of how important I am" or "If I stop doing so much then maybe I won't have the life that I want."

We can easily fall prey to the lie that busyness is equal to our value, or even worse that our busyness equals our holiness. The truth is that you can be extremely busy, and even doing really great things…but have a heart that is after the praise of men rather than God. In our Christian life it's easy to think if we are simply doing a bunch of Christian stuff then we are okay. But that's far from the truth.

Whether you are busy or not is not the question. The question is why you do what you do. A good test for whether or not your busyness has become too important to you is whether or not you are able to rest. Can you stop from your work long enough to be satisfied in the work of Jesus?

Champions, have a great day and week!-David Vining

What To Do With the Gaps

What To Do With The Gaps

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is 1 Corinthians 13:7  Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

In every relationship and especially in romantic relationships at some point there is going to be a gap between what we expect and how people behave.  In every one of these gaps we either choose to believe the best or assume the worst.  What determines what you put in the gap is what you see (they haven't done what they said that they would do), but the other thing that drives what you put in the gap is who you are and what you've experienced-your hurt, pain, joy, what you saw growing up, what you've experienced in previous relationships, your fear of being abandoned, of being on your own, whatever it might be.

Where do you naturally go?  Have you and your spouse gotten into a cycle where you go negative with each other?  When you choose to assume the worst even if there is a lot of history to back it up, you have contributed to the demise of your relationship.  You are a participant even when it seems to be justified or that there is a history.  Every time you go here mentally that gets expressed in your attitude, tone, response, text or email, you contribute to the demise of your love relationship. 

Let me tell you something about the person that you love.  The last thing they want to do is disappoint you.  I don't care how bad the relationship or history is.  No one wants to disappoint the person that they are in a relationship with.  When you go negative it communicates that no matter what you do or how hard you try you will never measure up.  One of the most powerful things that you can do when there is a gap is to communicate that you haven't disappointed me.  Fill the gap by believing the best.  When you choose to believe the best and communicate that even when there is a pattern of your partner not being everything you think they should be, you create margin in the relationship.  A healthy person responds to that margin and begins to move into your direction. 

Acceptance leads to influence.  We close down around rejection, and we open up when we feel accepted.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Finish the Race

Finish the Race

Dear Champions,

 

I don't know who wrote the following excerpt.  It is, however, a true event, and the scripture is in the excerpt.

 

The Barcelona Olympics of 1992 provided one of track and field's most incredible moments.  Britain's Derek Redmond had dreamed all his life of winning a gold medal in the 400-meter race, and his dream was in sight as the gun sounded in the semifinals at Barcelona. He was running the race of his life and could see the finish line as he rounded the turn into the backstretch. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain go up the back of his leg. He fell face first onto the track with a torn right hamstring. "Sports Illustrated" recorded the dramatic events:  As the medical attendants were approaching, Redmond fought to his feet. "It was animal instinct," he would say later. He set out hopping, in a crazed attempt to finish the race. When he reached the stretch, a large man in a T-shirt came out of the stands, hurled aside a security guard and ran to Redmond, embracing him. It was Jim Redmond, Derek's father. "You don't have to do this," he told his weeping son. "Yes, I do," said Derek.  "Well, then," said Jim, "we're going to finish this together."

 

And they did. Fighting off security men, the son's head sometimes buried in his father's shoulder, they stayed in Derek's lane all the way to the end, as the crowd gaped, then rose and howled and wept.

 

Derek didn't walk away with the gold medal, but he walked away with an incredible memory of a father who, when he saw his son in pain, left his seat in the stands to help him finish the race.

 

That's what God does for us when we place our trust in Him. When we are experiencing pain and we're struggling to finish the race, we can be confident that we have a loving Father who won't let us do it alone. He left His place in heaven to come alongside us in the person of His Son, Jesus Christ. "I am with you always," says Jesus to His followers, "to the very end of the age."

 

May we all be able to say the words in 2 Timothy 4:7   I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Held In Your Father's Hand

Held In Your Father's Hand

Dear Champions,

 

I do not know who wrote the short excerpt (it was sent to me).  The Scripture is John 10:28-29 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.  My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand.

 

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house.  In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. 

From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. 

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved. 

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go." 

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

God's Grace

God's Grace

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is from Tim Keller, and the scripture is 2 Peter 3:8-9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

God's grace tends to flow from the hard places.  Things that God did for us 30 minutes ago feel like 30 years ago in our hearts.  Disappointments we've had 30 years ago feel like 30 minutes ago in our hearts.   Because of that we're always freaking out.  We do not have a bird's eye perspective showing that God is continually being patient with us.

Ultimately, my heart will not remember what it should remember.  The theme of my life is God's patience with me, and the more I see His patience, the more I relax.  The more I meditate on His patience, the more poised I can be.  To the degree we can grasp His continual patience with us, we'll have poise and peace in the circumstances of life.

Imagine a five-year-old girl, and you're her mommy.  She's been looking forward to going to a birthday party with some of her friends all week.  But on the night before the birthday party, for the first time in her little life, she says a very big, fat lie, and you catch her on it.  This major deception has never happened before.  You say, "Honey, you're going to have to be punished for that lie.  You can't go to the birthday party tomorrow."  And she screeches a cry of despair, and she says, "Why? 

And yet out of this, in her little mind, will flow a transformed character.  As you know, it's life and death for her.  That has to be stopped now.  But she doesn't get it.  And it's from the hard place that this change in character is going to come and flow.  And I want you to know that you and I are considerably further behind the wisdom of God than a 5-year-old is behind her mother.  God's grace tends to flow from the hard places because the ultimate source of God's grace was the ultimately hard place, the Cross.

God wasn't punished for His sins.  He wasn't punished for this bad person or that bad person.  He was punished for you. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

This is the Day

This is the Day

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is longer than usual and is from AP sports writer Joe Kay.  The scripture is Psalm 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it.

Coach Dan Benjamin of Division III Mount St. Joseph in Cincinnati has the two-hour practice mapped out, including a special play he's installing for the Lions' sold-out women's basketball season opener. A black whistle dangles in front of his gray "Play for 22" T-shirt.  No. 22 would be freshman Lauren Hill.

She's moving slowly today. There are days when the inoperable tumor squeezing her brain also saps her energy and robs her of coordination. She finally comes out onto the court carrying a water bottle and her teammates call out to her in encouragement: "Hey Lauren!"

Given how she's feeling, it would be easy to skip the practice. But since her diagnosis a year ago, she has made sure no opportunity gets wasted.

"That's kind of how I look at it," Hill said, resting in a folding chair after practice Thursday. "I'm spreading awareness and also teaching people how to live in the moment because the next moment's not promised. Anything can happen at any given moment. What matters is right now."

Acknowledging the urgency, the NCAA made a special exception to move up Mount St. Joseph's opener against Hiram College to Nov. 2, despite its rules that require seasons to start later in November. The scheduling change gives Hill a better shot to get on the court — the only chance she may get before the growing tumor that hinders her play also claims her life.

After the move, Xavier University offered its 10,000-seat arena so more people could attend. The game sold out faster than a Cleveland Cavaliers exhibition earlier this month.

College basketball players and sports teams from around the country are signing No. 22 jerseys and sending them to Lauren for support. The United States Basketball Writers Association has voted her for the Pat Summitt most courageous award, which is usually given out at the Final Four.

"This is an amazing young lady who's made an impact on the world, more than I will ever do," said Benjamin, a coach for 25 years. "I wish everybody could meet her."

Hill played basketball and soccer in nearby Lawrenceburg, Indiana. On her 18th birthday last October, she decided to commit to play basketball at The Mount, as it's known locally. A few weeks later, she started feeling bad. Tests found the cancerous tumor growing throughout her brain. Surgery wasn't an option. Six weeks of radiation, an experimental drug and two months of chemotherapy didn't help much. Doctors estimated she had a year to live.

"I try not to — try really hard not to — but it's hard to not think about down the road," she said.

A lot of people are going out of their way to get to know the ponytailed player who is showing everyone — with each deliberate dribble, left-handed shot and each time she just shows up — what it means to live each day fully.

Hill's parents and two younger siblings are trying to pack as much as they can into however many weeks she has left.

"You try not to concentrate on it too much because you can get caught up in the grief of the sheer fact that you're probably going to lose your child," her mother, Lisa Hill said. "But if I grieve and get depressed and curl up into a ball, I rob myself and her of today. Why?

"We've got today. I can spend today with her doing everything we want to do — just chit-chatting, listening to music, going shopping, whatever she wants to do. If I didn't get out of bed, I'd miss out on all those things."

Although she's right-handed, Lauren has to shoot with her left because the tumor is affecting her right side more severely. She gets dizzy if she moves her head side-to-side, so she has to move her upper body instead. Her balance is a little off. She'll be able to play only a few minutes at a time on Nov. 2.

Even with all of that, she refuses to think of it as her one and only game.

"She says, 'I hate that. If I can play one more game, I'm playing one more game,'" Lisa Hill said. "If she's upright and able, she'll still be out there."

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Your Cornerstone

Your Cornerstone

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is 1 Peter 2:6  See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him (Jesus) will never be put to shame." 

The cornerstone is your foundation.  The cornerstone of a building is the thing on which everything rested, and if the cornerstone was unsteady in any way, the whole building trembled. 

I remember talking years ago to a counselor at an Ivey League School, and she said that what is interesting is that everybody who comes to an Ivey League School made A's where they came from and somebody is going to get B's and C's and a lot of them showed up on my couch.  She said that it is one thing to want good grades, but it's another thing to basically build your identity on the idea that I am smart.  When the cornerstone shakes, then the whole life shakes. 

A lot of athletes start to feel good about themselves until they retire and very often their life falls apart.  Why?  It's great to want to be an athlete, but it's another thing to build your identity on it.  

The one who puts their trust in Jesus will never be put to shame.  If you build your life on any other cornerstone, you will fill like a failure when your cornerstone shakes.  You'll be shaken to the roots, and you'll feel like you don't have a self.  You have to recognize that you do have a cornerstone, and Jesus has to become precious to you. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Naive Grace-Part 2

Naïve Grace-Part 2

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is continued from last week and is again by the late Mike Yaconelli, and the scripture is Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Most of my life, I heard the message loud and clear that Christianity was all about coloring within the lines and coloring well.  If I was a good Christian, if I loved Jesus and wanted to please Him, if I read my Bible, prayed, and went to church, then I would get better and better at coloring.  And if I lived a long and godly life, I would eventually be able to draw close to the perfect drawing.  But wherever that message came from, it was a lie -- I am 52 years old, and my coloring still looks like Alana's.

 

I believe God looks at my coloring and says, "Hmmmmmmm.  You certainly like the color green!  Lots of passion in this stroke.  I like it."

 

Even as I write those words, I can hear the "concern" of those who worry about others misunderstanding the gospel.  "You're not suggesting, are you, that nothing matters to God?  Certainly, God has standards!"

 

What I am suggesting is that God's grace is outside the lines of our understanding, and we can only stand in awe and wonder.  Christianity is not about learning how to live within the lines;  It is about the joy of coloring.  The grace of God is preposterous enough to accept as beautiful a coloring that anyone else would reject as ugly.  The grace of God sees beyond the scribbling to the heart of the scribbler – a scribbler who is similar to 2 thieves who hung on crosses on either side of Jesus.  One of the two asked Jesus to please accept his scribbled and sloppy life into the kingdom of God…and He did.  Preposterous. 

 

And very good news for the rest of us scribblers…

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

 

Naive Grace-Part 1

Naïve Grace-Part 1

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by the late Mike Yaconelli, and the scripture is Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

A few years ago, I asked some friends if they would have their 2-year-old daughter, Alana, color me a page out of her coloring book.  When Alana colored, she never worried about lines, realism, or symmetry.  It never occurred to her that something could be wrong with her work.  Alana colored the page, and she brought it to me just before Sunday morning worship service. 

           

She was very proud and excited, anxious for my response.  I did respond, in the same manner I imagine most of us would respond:  I lied.  "Oh, Alana, thank you for this beautiful drawing!  It must have taken you a long time, and it's very special.  Thank you again."  Of course, part of me was thinking, This is terrible.  Is red the only color you could use?  How about yellow?  Blue?  Green?  None of your strokes are even close to being within the lines.  What's the matter with you?  Take this back and draw it again – only do it right this time!

 

But I couldn't criticize Alana, in part because she exhibited grace, the grace of a child who knows it is okay to color outside the lines.  Was she naïve?  Sure.  Would to God we all kept our childlike naivete about grace…

 

Most of my life, I heard the message loud and clear that Christianity was all about coloring within the lines and coloring well.  If I was a good Christian, if I loved Jesus and wanted to please Him, if I read my Bible, prayed, and went to church, then I would get better and better at coloring.  And if I lived a long and godly life, I would eventually be able to draw close to the perfect drawing.  But wherever that message came from, it was a lie -- I am 52 years old, and my coloring still looks like Alana's.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Guardrails in Friendships Part 2

Guardrails for Friendships Part 2

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is once again Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

 

Guardrails are a standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience to keep you from danger and from making poor decisions. 

 

Guardrail #1 -  It dawns on you that your core group isn't moving in the direction you want your life to be moving.  This should concern you to the point that you recognize it and do something about it.  Step back and honestly evaluate where you are going and where the lives of your core friends are going.  When you realize this, actively seek out and invest in an additional or new group of people.  Look for a better place to start putting down roots. 

 

Guardrail #2 – You catch yourself pretending to be someone other than who you really are.  You may also hear the following within your conscience: "I'm not myself" or "I don't feel comfortable."  Pull back from these relationships.  Some of us have been directly warned about this but do not notice the sirens and flashing lights. You may have heard a variation of the following phrase:  " When you are around these people you are not yourself.  You act differently."   This should cause you great concern. Sometimes we get defensive, but most of the time our significant others are right.

 

Guardrail #3 -  You feel pressure to compromise.  When you are with these people, you probably ignore certain values or try to rationalize with yourself.  True and good friends will point you to what is right, good, and righteous.  In these situations, what has never been a temptation before suddenly becomes a live and real option. You begin considering behaviors you have always thought of as off-limits.  This should concern you, and your flags should start going up.

 

Guardrail #4 – You hear yourself saying, "I'll go, but I won't participate."  If you are considering being in the proximity of [fill in the blank], but tell yourself you will not participate or engage, then 99.9% of the time, you have no business going! We should flee from sin and immorality, not see how close we can get. This should be a warning and wake-up call that you notice!  In these situations, you are just too close.  You never know when things could get out of hand. You could do something you regret or be guilty by association.

 

Guardrail #5 – You hope the people you care about most don't find out who you were with or where you have been.  Something inside you tenses up when you think about the people you care about most knowing where you were, what you were doing, or who you were doing it with. To some extent, you feel you may have to defend yourself.  In these situations, your mind is working in overdrive conjuring an excuse, explanation or rationalization to have readily available if needed.  This should bother you.

 

We often tell ourselves lies like "I'm just being Christian and showing acceptance, compassion, or love by staying in this relationship."  You may also think, "But I really love these people… Jesus modeled that we should love people." These are sly lies from the depths of Satan.  You are using compassion or love as an excuse for inaction.  You are lying to yourself.  This is not about your friends… it is about you.  Never confuse compassion and wisdom.  They do not compete with each other. Compassion should never require you to make an unwise decision for yourself.

 

Intentionally drawing back from these relationships can be the most loving and compassionate action you ever take. The best thing you can do in life is stay on the correct side of the guardrail. This is where you model Christ's heart.   When people crash or when "crap" hits the fan your friend will probably run to you first.  You will be the "go-to person."  It is in these moments where we have true opportunities to witness with extraordinary wisdom, compassion, help, insight, and love.  By withdrawing from the relationships, you allow yourself to be healthy and ready for these opportunities.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

 

Guardrails in Friendship

Guardrails in Friendships

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is in the excerpt.

Guardrails are "a system designed to keep something from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas."    Guardrails are designed with simplistic purpose. They create a small accident to protect you from a larger incident.  We rarely pay attention to or think about guardrails until we need them. When we need or use them, they can save our lives.

 

Applied to our lives, guardrails can help guide and protect us. It is a standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience.    Most likely our biggest mistakes in life could have been avoided if we had guardrails steering us in the right direction.  I'm going to resist asking this question.  "How close can I get to sin without actually sinning?"  In my world, I get asked that question all of the time.  The goal should never be to see "how close I can get to a guardrail without crashing."  Ideally we will never get anywhere near the guardrail. We need guardrails to keep us from going "too far" or from moving in a dangerous direction.

 

Friendships are powerful. The things that make friendships so great are the things that make friendships so dangerous.  We are all repelled by rejection, and we are attracted to acceptance which leads to influence.  When I'm with people that accept me I drop my guard.  Friendships mold, define, and grow us in a direction and impact our present and future. We do life with friends. We all have wonderful stories of soul-touching friendships  and unfortunate stories of mistakes and pain. Often, our biggest regrets are made in the company of our closest friends.  We are honest, vulnerable, and exposed with friends. We become less careful, drop our guards, and are easily influenced by friendships.  Whether you like it or not, you are deeply associated with the company of friends you maintain.  The wisest man in the history and future of humanity, Solomon, said the following of friendship:  Proverbs 13:20  Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

 

A wise person is a person that understands that all of life is connected.  What you do today will influence who you are tomorrow.  What you did yesterday will impact your experience in life today.  A wise person makes decisions based not just on today but on the future.  When you are with people that make decisions as if life is connected, this is contagious.  It will impact on how you view the world and how you make decisions.  A fool is a person that knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn't care.  If you have friends that don't care about their lives, they are not going to be very concerned about your life. 

Solomon offers a promise (walk with the wise and become wise) and a warning (a companion of fools suffers harm).  As much as we do not want to admit it, we know this.

Good parents are constantly monitoring their children's friendships. You may remember being belligerent towards your parents when they did not allow you to spend time with certain kids in grade school. Somewhere along the way, however, we can forget to exercise the same level of caution as we develop friends in adulthood and as married couples.

 

God willing, guardrails in friendships will come next week!  Have a great week!-David Vining

Guardrails in Marriage Part 2

Guardrails in Marriage Part 2

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

If you establish these guardrails in your marriage, you will not regret this.  These aren't in the Bible.  I made them all up based on many conversations, phone calls, emails, and heartbreaking circumstances.  I have talked to so many men and women who would say I wish I heard that and done it. 

Married People List:

1.  Don't travel alone with members of the opposite sex.

2.  Don't eat alone with members of the opposite sex.  Every affair, except for one, I have ever been involved with as it relates to talking with people, it began right here.  If you find yourself in a situation to where you are surprised by the fact that you are having to eat alone with someone of the opposite sex, you call your spouse. 

3.  Don't hire cute members of the opposite sex because you want to help them.  Don't deceive yourself.   (Andy actually involves his wife when hiring members of the opposite sex to get her input.)

4.  Don't confide in or counsel members of the opposite sex.  It is dangerous.  When your emotional world gets entwined with another, you have crossed an invisible, intangible but dangerous line in terms of intimacy.  Intimacy begins with the emotional.  I cannot begin to tell you all of the pastors and Christian counselors that ditched and blew up their marriage trying to help someone.  The most compassionate thing that you can do for you and your family is to get that person help and refuse to be the shoulder that they lean on. 

5.  When you feel your heart or your desire drifting toward a specific person, tell someone.  I'm not saying to tell your spouse.  There's a time when you do that, but I'm not saying that up front.  There needs to be someone that is safe that you can tell.

Your spouse needs to know where your guardrails are so that they can call you on it.  Also, your spouse needs to be comfortable with your guardrails. 

Single People List:

1.  Applied the married people guidelines in your relationships with married people.  In other words, treat that married person like you're going to want someone to treat your married person once you are married.  I don't travel or have dinner or confide with married people. 

2.  No sleepovers. 

3.  If in the dating scene that you are part of, if date has become equivalent to sex, then you need to take a break and decide for one year that you will not date.  You need a year to renew your mind and for God to renew your heart. 

You are never going to regret having these kinds of guardrails.  That's how you have an amazing, extreme, and one of a kind marriage.  Exclusivity fuels intimacy in marriage?  When your spouse believes that she or he is the only one for you, that is powerful.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Guardrails in Marriage

Guardrails in Marriage

 

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is in the excerpt.

 

A guardrail is placed in a safe zone to keep us from going into an unsafe zone.  It is a standard of behavior you choose that becomes a matter of conscience and will keep you a few feet or yards away from disaster. 

 

You can fully recover from just about any other kind of disaster but sexual disaster is almost impossible to fully recover from.  When it comes to the area of your sexuality, these are the stories that nobody laughs at later in life.  When a person crosses certain lines when it comes to their sexuality there are things that they carry with them for the rest of their lives.  We need guardrails in this area of life. 

 

1 Corinthians 6:18  Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.   If you are married, these guardrails are what you want your spouse to do.  It's what you want everyone that you care about to do, but you just aren't so sure that you want you to do this.  You need to decide, "This is as close to that as I go," and when I bump up against my personal standard of behavior, I'm going to feel guilty.  I'm going to make a big deal out of something that is five yards away from disaster.  I'm not going to live out on the edge of that line anymore.

 

If you are Christian we believe that God's spirit comes to live inside of your physical body.  It does not just belong to you because God moved into your body.  You are no longer a slave to sin, and you don't have to what your desires tell you to do.  Honor God with your body.  If it is dishonoring to God, don't do it with your body.  Establish some guardrails.  If you live on the edge and step over it, it will be a disaster.  However, if you bump into your guardrails, there are no consequences. 

 

God willing, specific marriage guardrails are coming next week!  Have a great week!-David Vining

The Watergate Cover-Up

The Watergate Cover-Up

 

The short excerpt is by the late Chuck Colson, and the scripture is Acts 4:13 When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

 

It was ironically the Watergate cover-up that left me convinced that the biblical accounts of the resurrection of Jesus Christ are historically reliable.  In my Watergate experience I saw the inability of men-even powerful, highly motivated professionals-to hold together a conspiracy based on a lie.  It was less than three weeks from the time that Mr. Nixon knew all the facts to the time that John Dean went to the prosecutors.  Once that happened Mr. Nixon's presidency was doomed.  The actual cover-up lasted less than a month. 

 

On the other hand, Christ's powerless followers maintained to their grim deaths by execution that they had in fact seen Jesus Christ raised from the dead.  There was no conspiracy, no Passover plot.  Men and women do not give up their comfort-and certainly not their lives-for what they know to be a lie.

 

Champions, have a great summer!-David Vining

Needing Purpose In Life

Needing Purpose In Life

 

The short excerpt is by the late Chuck Colson, and the scripture is Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

 

Hundreds of Jewish prisoners survived in disease-infested barracks on little food and gruesome, backpacking work.  Each day the prisoners were marched to the compound's giant factory, where tons of human waste and garbage were distilled into alcohol to be used as a fuel additive.  Even worse than the nauseating odor of stewing sludge was the realization that they were fueling the Nazi war machine.

 

Then one day Allied aircraft blasted the area and destroyed the hated factory.  The next morning several hundred inmates were herded to one end of its charred remains.   Expecting orders to begin rebuilding, they were startled when the Nazi officer commanded them to shovel sand into carts and drag it to the other end of the plant.

 

The next day the process was repeated in reverse; they were ordered to move the huge pile of sand back to the other end of the compound.  A mistake has been made, they thought.  They continued in this way.  Day after day they hauled the same pile of sand from one end of the camp to the other.

 

And then one old man began crying uncontrollably; the guards hauled him away.  Another screamed until he was beaten into silence.  Then a young man who had survived three years in the camp darted away from the group.  The guards shouted for him to stop as he ran toward the electrified fence.  The other prisoners cried out, but it was too late; there was a blinding flash and a terrible sizzling noise as smoke puffed from his smoldering flesh.  In the days that followed, dozens of the prisoners went mad and ran from their work, only to be shot by the guards or electrocuted by the fence. 

 

The gruesome lesson is plain:  Men will cling to life with dogged resolve while working meaningfully, even if that work supports their hated captors.   But purposeless labor soon snaps the mind.  We must do more than work just to survive; we must do work that has a purpose.  Evolution cannot explain this.  Man is a reflection of the nature of a purposeful Creator.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

Couples That Pray Together

Couples That Pray Together

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is James 3: 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, it's peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.   

 

Considerate means, "I defer to you.  You first."   It's almost impossible to have a bad relationship with people who defer to you and are willing to be considerate. 

 

If you begin to pray together out loud as a couple on a regular basis it will almost instantly begin to surface all of the crud, arrogance, ego, and resistance to God's authority in your life and your submission to one another.  For many of us that are resistant to this, it's a pride problem. 

 

There have been several studies on couples that pray together, and only about 8 % of Christian couples pray together out loud.  Another study was done and came to the conclusion that less than 1 percent of couples that pray together ever got divorced.  Another study was done where the reported divorce rate of couples that pray together regularly is about 1 in 10,000.  Dr. Phil reported this in his book, Relationship Rescue.   The couples that pray together stay together. 

 

Your prayers do not have to be long and eloquent, and make sure that you pray with each other and not at each other.  Also, if you have children, pray together with your children and for your children.  Praying together is intimate, so don't be surprised that as you develop greater spiritual intimacy that it does not enhance your physical intimacy. 

 

Never be critical of your spouse's prayer, and don't go too long without praying together.  Pray out loud, and pray on a regular basis.  If there is something in you that resists this, ask yourself what it is that would make you think that you need to share every other area of your life with this person but this.  Would you be willing to push through the discomfort and ackwardness to pray together out loud on a regular basis?   Men in particular, praying out loud with your family sets a tone that says to your kids that Daddy and Mommy are men and women under the authority of God. 

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Relationship and Not Rules

Relationship and Not Rules

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is Matthew 4:19   "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will send you out to fish for people."

 

I don't want to pastor a church and I don't want to attend a church that is all about believing and behaving the right way and forget that we have been called to call the sick and the sinners and those who need a Savior.  The church that is content simply to believe and behave right eventually becomes judgmental.  They become Pharisees.  They come to you and say, "As soon as you change, you can be a part of us."  In fact, that was the Pharisees' message.  "Change and then you can join us."  Jesus came along and turned it upside down and said, "No, join us and you will change.  Just follow me!"

 

The invitation to follow is purely an invitation to relationship.  It's not an invitation to the Ten Commandments.  It's not even an invitation to obedience.  Let me tell you why this is important.  If you were married to someone who obeyed all of the marriage rules, and you obeyed all of the marriage rules, you would not necessarily have a good relationship.  Rules don't make a relationship.  It's actually God's kindness that leads to repentance.  It is not fear.  To experience someone's kindness you have to be in a relationship of some sort with them.  The thing that leads to repentance which leads to change is not the fear of Hell, but it's God's kindness, especially as demonstrated through Christ. 

 

Following Jesus forces me to focus on where I am rather than on where you are not.  When I wake up every day my goal is not to keep 10 things and four things and never and always, but it is to do the best that I can to simply follow Jesus.  Then I become so aware of my responsibility that I don't have time to judge you.

 

The question is not what do I know, how well do I pray, how consistently do I attend church, how much Scripture do I know, how obedient am I, or have I prayed a prayer.  The question is.  "Am I following? "  Am I actively intentionally engaged in the process of following Jesus?

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

The Evidence For The Resurrection

The Evidence For The Resurrection

 

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is 1 Corinthians 15:14 If Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.

 

Paul is talking 15 years after the fact, and he is saying to Agrippa in Acts 25 & 26, “Produce the body -- go ahead and try.”  You have to remember that all the Roman officials and religious leaders of Judea desperately would have liked to stop the spread of Christianity.  Nobody had more motivation than the leaders of the religion and the government of Judea to stop this thing, and they couldn’t stop it!   You have the female disciples who claimed to see Jesus raised from the dead on Easter morning.  Then you have the disciples who claimed to have seen Jesus a number of times over the next 40 days.  You also have the disciples on the road to Emmaus.  Paul also talks in I Corinthians 15 about 500 people who saw Jesus Christ risen speaking to them all at once.  This is the way he preached the Gospel saying, “Most of the people who saw Him are still alive.  Go talk to them and check them out!” 

 

Back then the evidence for the resurrection was much stronger.  It was easier for the individual to go check out the evidence.  You could talk to eyewitnesses.  You could look at the tomb.  The message was spreading all over the world, and there was nothing the people could do about it.  Paul had that kind of confidence!  What does Agrippa say?  He doesn’t say anything.  He can’t say anything. 

 

The first eyewitnesses of the resurrection were women!  Women were of such low estate in society and culture in those days that their testimony was not admissible in court?  Therefore, if you’re going to make up a story to try to show that Jesus Christ was risen from the dead, you would never have had women as the first eyewitnesses.  So why do all the documents say that women were the first people whom Jesus appeared to?  Because it’s true!    There is nothing about the gospels that looks like fabrication.  Not only that, but it’s also hard to believe that if there were ringleaders for this hoax that they all would have died for the hoax.  The evidence is mighty overwhelming! 

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

Easter

EASTER

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is 1 Corinthians 15:3-6 Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,  that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures,  and that he appeared to Cephas, and then to the Twelve.   After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time,

 

Christianity is completely and totally based on a historical fact—a miracle, the Resurrection.  No other religion does that.  If the resurrection is not true, everything about Christianity makes no sense.

 

The whole Christian message can be summed up in one phrase.  The son of God came to earth, and He died on the Cross to pay for our sins so that we could come to know our Father.  The resurrection proves that He wasn’t just a human being, but that He was the son of God. 

 

Other religions say that their founders were prophets and that the way to get to God is to try to live a good life.  Christianity says, “Nobody is good enough!”  Christianity says our founder isn’t just pointing the way to God but that He is God.  Christianity says, “Our religion doesn’t tell you how to find God by your efforts, but how Jesus came and did it all for you.”  Jesus died for your sins.  He was your substitute.  He brings you to God. 

 

Paul is talking in 1 Corinthians 15 years after the fact about 500 people who saw Jesus Christ risen, speaking to them all at once.  How are you going to explain an hallucination that happens to 500 people at once?

 

Some of you don’t believe in the resurrection.  Watch out.  Doubt your doubts.  Be skeptical about you skepticism.  Spend the time.  You have gambled everything on it not being true.  You better be sure.  Look at the evidence.  Do the exploration. 

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Wisdom Leads to Humility

Wisdom Leads to Humility

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley and the scripture is in the excerpts.

 

The idea is that in marriage two people submit and serve one another as they submit to the authority of their heavenly Father.   They are ultimately accountable to God.  When I got married I understood that Sandra was always going to be more committed to her heavenly Father than to me.  She was hoping that I would always be more committed to my heavenly Father than I was to her.  This is what a Christian marriage looks like under God’s authority.  This is the ideal and the model marriage.

 

If you are dating someone, and he’s a Christian, that is not enough.  What you want is a Christian that understands that he or she operates their lives under the authority of God.  This isn’t about leveraging something for yourself, but it is about serving someone under the authority of God. 

 

For this to work it requires massive doses of humility, and this does not come naturally.  Self preservation, defending myself, guarding my wounds and insecurities comes naturally, but not humility.  When we see a humble person we find that person attractive.  When we see an arrogant person we find that person repulsive.  Yet there is something in me and in most of you and definitely in most of us men that wants to guard our place, defend our opinions, never be wrong, always be right, always win the argument and always push back.  We do this either overtly, or we become passive aggressive.  There is something in us that is very difficult to defer or to submit ourselves to other people because that requires humility.  To have an incredible relationship requires massive doses of humility. 

 

Wisdom leads to humility which leads to great wisdom (a paraphrase of James 3:13).   The only way to gain wisdom is to be open to new things and to be open to the fact that you might be wrong.  You have to hold your assumptions about all things in an open hand.  Here is what I believe and have always thought, but I’m always open to learning something new.  Humility leads to wisdom, but wisdom requires humility. 

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Submitting

Submitting

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is in the excerpt.

 

Mutual submission is the most powerful relational dynamic that there is.  It means, “I’m here for you, and you’re here for me.  I want to defer to you your happiness and to what you need, and you want to defer to me and my happiness and to what I need.  I want to submit my authority, power, resources and time to the happiness for my partner, and she wants to do the same for me.”  Both people are submitting to each other. 

 

Jesus modeled this, and his disciples wrote about this after he left.  Ephesians 5: 21 says Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  This is actually his set up for his talk on how Christian marriage works.  Then he gets into specifics which get people into trouble when taken out of context.  He gives wives a specific, and he gives husbands a specific. 

 

Ephesians 5:22 says Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  Husbands love this verse.  The problem is that it was written to wives.  So whenever a man brings this verse up, I tell him that it was not written to him.  He goes on and speaks to husbands.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.  That’s a really high standard because Jesus died for the church.  Wives love this verse, but it’s not written to them. 

 

When husbands and wives go to back to the previous verse where they are to submit to each other, when they understand that the goal isn’t to power up, this is the most powerful relationship dynamic.  Mutual submission is to take my time, resources, and talent and to submit to my partner, and she to me.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

Success is Intoxicating

Success is Intoxicating

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

You always have something working against you when making personal decisions: you. Personal decisions are emotional, and emotionally charged environments aren’t ideal for decision-making. Your emotions make the obvious less obvious. This is why you’re probably better at managing someone else’s money than your own. It’s why you know exactly what your neighbor needs to do about his marriage, but have no clue how to improve your own. It’s why your kids baffle you, while a complete stranger’s kids just need a good spanking.  When it comes to making decisions, we have a real problem. It’s next to impossible to hear the voice of wisdom when emotions are raging.

Success is intoxicating.   If you are super successful, after a while people in the world will think that you are smart about everything.  Have you ever been in a room where there is a super rich person?  If you are a man, you are like the prettiest girl in the room.  Everybody knows that you are there, and they think that you are way more handsome than you actually are because money makes you better looking.   Have you ever stood in a group or a little posse around a super wealthy or well known person?  Have you noticed that everything they say is true?  Everything that is kind of funny is real funny.  Every piece of advice everybody is eagerly listening to.  What happens is that people come around super successful people, and they intoxicate them even more.  It’s very difficult to survive success.  After a while if you will begin to think you know a lot about everything.  So why in the world would you seek advice about anything?  If you are super or even marginally successful or if you’re recognized in your field or industry as being successful, you’re inclination will begin to think that since I know a lot about this, I ‘m kind of an expert on all matters.  You will naturally resist outside input, and you will resist feedback and council.  You will really resist going to a counselor.

You were born into community, and you need community.  You have two ears and one mouth for a reason, and the only way for you to emerge from your inadequacy is to invite someone into your area of weakness with you and to learn to listen.  Wise people seek counsel. That’s why they are wise. Wise people know they don’t know all they need to know. So, they find people who know. Wisdom isn’t knowing everything. It’s knowing what you don’t know and going to those in the know for the input you need.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

Just Follow

Just Follow

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is Matthew 9:12-13 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

 

No matter what you believe or how you behave, Jesus invites you to follow him . . . and if we look closely, we make some very interesting discoveries:

 

First, being a sinner doesn’t disqualify you from following Jesus; it’s actually a prerequisite. The only people Jesus invited to follow him were sinners. In fact, they were often the worst of the worst. The better a person was, the less he was able to even understand Jesus because he kept inviting the most unlikely characters to follow.

Second, being a nonbeliever doesn’t disqualify you from following Jesus. Do you realize that nobody who followed Jesus in the first century initially thought he was the Son of God? They were all unbelievers in that regard. Some people thought he was just a nice guy who had some interesting things to say, while others thought he was a good teacher and were intrigued by the miracles he performed. Nobody really understood who Jesus was, but all were invited to follow.

Third, Jesus’ invitation to follow is not a religious invitation. The message of religion has always been, Change your behavior and you can join us. But Jesus’ message was, Join us and you will change. There’s a huge difference.  Jesus invited people to get close to him, to watch him, to listen to him . . . to simply follow him. Because of their proximity to Jesus and their relationship with him, people began to change.

 

During his time on earth, Jesus continually reached out to sinners, doubters, and nonreligious people. The same is true today. No matter what you believe, no matter how you behave, Jesus invites you to follow him.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

More Dating Advice From Andy Stanley

More Dating Advice From Andy Stanley

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

 

When you’re dating, postpone the physical of your relationship as long as possible.  I’ve never heard anyone say to me, “I think our relationship would have been better and healthier if we had gotten physical faster.”  I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard people say that they got physical too quick.  By physical, I’m not even talking about sex.

 

Avoid living together.  Look at the research.  There is no evidence at all that living together prepares anyone for marriage.  The opposite is true.  Couples who live together have a far higher chance of divorce.  The individual that has lived with two or three people, it is almost a 0 percent possibility for them that their first marriage will last.  I understand this about statistics.  It’s only important if it supports that which you are currently doing.  No one ever makes relationship decisions based on statistics because you think that you are going to be the exception.  However, living together is not a path to happily ever after. 

 

Non Christians, don’t date a Christian unless you plan to become one.  When a Christian dates a non Christian they do not accept you the way that you are.  They want you to become a Christian.  As a non Christian you would be better off finding an honest pagan because they will accept you just the way that you are.  If you marry them, they are going to want to find a church, and then when you have a kid they want your kids raised in church.  If they are sleeping with you, it’s even worse because now you are dating a Christian who is a hypocrite.  You don’t like hypocrites, and you are in love with one.  It’s just a mess!

 

Get involved with your local church.  I meet couples all of the time that started volunteering at their local church, and then they meet somebody whose flow is in the same direction.  In serving you are more likely to find the people whose lives and lifestyles are in synch with the ones that you are trying to establish.  If you go to the right places, the chances are likely that you will meet the right people. 

 

No matter what you’ve done wrong or how you may have messed up in the past, going forward, you get to get it right.  You get to make decisions now that will enable you to stand at the altar and say “I do” and be able to keep that promise.”  Do the difficult work of becoming a whole person in order to become someone worth pursuing, winning and loving. 

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

Dating Assignments For Singles

Dating Assignments For Singles

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is Proverbs 22:7 The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.

 

Commit now to becoming someone that can keep their commitments later.  Here are two very specific single people assignments so that when you make a commitment later, you’ll actually be able to keep your promise. 

1.      Ladies, don’t dress like a commodity, and don’t put up with being treated like one.  When you are dating, if you get in the habit of being treated like a commodity, your husband is going to do the same thing after marriage.  If he dated you like a commodity, then he is going to treat you like a commodity.  Have no tolerance for this.  A fisherman determines what to bait his hook with by what he is fishing for.  If you fish with your body, then you are going to catch body snatcher every single time. 

2.     Get out of debt.  We don’t recommend that people get married until they get out of debt.  You can get out of debt a lot quicker as a single person than as a married person.  If you are a single person who has so poorly managed your finances that you have debt, when you get married, that’s a behavior that you are carrying into marriage.  If he loves you, then he will move in with Momma to get out of debt in order to marry you. 

Marriage was not designed to solve any problems.  In marriage, generally the great things get better, and the bad things get worse.  If you have a bad habit now, then you will have a bad habit and be married.  If you drink too much now, then you will drink too much then.  If you have a prescription addiction thing, a gambling problem, a porn problem, a shopping problem, a can’t stay out of debt problem, then it’s just going to get worse except someone will know.  To prepare to be able to look at somebody and say that I’m going to honor and cherish you, you are going to be the priority of my life, I’m never going to do anything to hurt you or harm this relationship, then break your bad habits now.  You already know what they are. 

 

Three more assignments are coming next week.  Have a great week!-David Vining

Dealing With The Past

Dealing With The Past

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is Proverbs 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.

 

The second part of Proverbs 14:8 says that the folly of fools is deception.  That in and of itself doesn’t make a lot of sense but when you contrast it with this little proverb, here is the point.  Prudent people are constantly examining their ways, patterns, habits, behaviors, trends and flow of their life.  The fool, on the other hand, doesn’t pay attention to these things.  He thinks that regardless of my current habits or how my life has usually gone, somehow I think that I’m going to end up at a place where nothing that I am currently doing points me in that direction.  Somehow good things are going to magically happen. 

 

The simple believe anything.  I’ve got to warn you that when you fall in love you will believe anything and lose your mind.  The guy comes to her and says, “I know this and this and this is wrong with me, but if you will marry me, I will change.”  The prudent give thought to their steps.  When you look at a person’s steps you can tell where they are going.  Words, promises and commitments are almost meaningless.  It’s the past that is the best indicator of where a person is headed and where they will probably end up.  That’s true of who you date, and that’s true of who you are.  The past people choose trumps the commitments that they make.  When you look at your life and when you examine the life of the people that you are dating, the question is where have they been, and where are they headed.  The past is a better indicator than a promise. 

 

Commit now to becoming someone that can keep their commitments later.  You need to address your unresolved childhood issues.  If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you’ve done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete that hole in your heart.  The number one thing that you can do is to become whole and healthy.  For most of you that means turning around and facing and addressing issues from your childhood.  If you don’t do this, those unresolved issues will be taken out on your spouse.  It is enormously important that you take care of this.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining