Guardrails in Marriage Part 2
Dear Champions,
The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
If you establish these guardrails in your marriage, you will not regret this. These aren't in the Bible. I made them all up based on many conversations, phone calls, emails, and heartbreaking circumstances. I have talked to so many men and women who would say I wish I heard that and done it.
Married People List:
1. Don't travel alone with members of the opposite sex.
2. Don't eat alone with members of the opposite sex. Every affair, except for one, I have ever been involved with as it relates to talking with people, it began right here. If you find yourself in a situation to where you are surprised by the fact that you are having to eat alone with someone of the opposite sex, you call your spouse.
3. Don't hire cute members of the opposite sex because you want to help them. Don't deceive yourself. (Andy actually involves his wife when hiring members of the opposite sex to get her input.)
4. Don't confide in or counsel members of the opposite sex. It is dangerous. When your emotional world gets entwined with another, you have crossed an invisible, intangible but dangerous line in terms of intimacy. Intimacy begins with the emotional. I cannot begin to tell you all of the pastors and Christian counselors that ditched and blew up their marriage trying to help someone. The most compassionate thing that you can do for you and your family is to get that person help and refuse to be the shoulder that they lean on.
5. When you feel your heart or your desire drifting toward a specific person, tell someone. I'm not saying to tell your spouse. There's a time when you do that, but I'm not saying that up front. There needs to be someone that is safe that you can tell.
Your spouse needs to know where your guardrails are so that they can call you on it. Also, your spouse needs to be comfortable with your guardrails.
Single People List:
1. Applied the married people guidelines in your relationships with married people. In other words, treat that married person like you're going to want someone to treat your married person once you are married. I don't travel or have dinner or confide with married people.
2. No sleepovers.
3. If in the dating scene that you are part of, if date has become equivalent to sex, then you need to take a break and decide for one year that you will not date. You need a year to renew your mind and for God to renew your heart.
You are never going to regret having these kinds of guardrails. That's how you have an amazing, extreme, and one of a kind marriage. Exclusivity fuels intimacy in marriage? When your spouse believes that she or he is the only one for you, that is powerful.
Champions, have a great week!-David Vining
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