Dealing With The Past
Dear Champions,
The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is Proverbs 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.
The second part of Proverbs 14:8 says that the folly of fools is deception. That in and of itself doesn’t make a lot of sense but when you contrast it with this little proverb, here is the point. Prudent people are constantly examining their ways, patterns, habits, behaviors, trends and flow of their life. The fool, on the other hand, doesn’t pay attention to these things. He thinks that regardless of my current habits or how my life has usually gone, somehow I think that I’m going to end up at a place where nothing that I am currently doing points me in that direction. Somehow good things are going to magically happen.
The simple believe anything. I’ve got to warn you that when you fall in love you will believe anything and lose your mind. The guy comes to her and says, “I know this and this and this is wrong with me, but if you will marry me, I will change.” The prudent give thought to their steps. When you look at a person’s steps you can tell where they are going. Words, promises and commitments are almost meaningless. It’s the past that is the best indicator of where a person is headed and where they will probably end up. That’s true of who you date, and that’s true of who you are. The past people choose trumps the commitments that they make. When you look at your life and when you examine the life of the people that you are dating, the question is where have they been, and where are they headed. The past is a better indicator than a promise.
Commit now to becoming someone that can keep their commitments later. You need to address your unresolved childhood issues. If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you’ve done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete that hole in your heart. The number one thing that you can do is to become whole and healthy. For most of you that means turning around and facing and addressing issues from your childhood. If you don’t do this, those unresolved issues will be taken out on your spouse. It is enormously important that you take care of this.
Champions, have a great week!-David Vining
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