Guardrails in Friendships
The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is in the excerpt.
Guardrails are "a system designed to keep something from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas." Guardrails are designed with simplistic purpose. They create a small accident to protect you from a larger incident. We rarely pay attention to or think about guardrails until we need them. When we need or use them, they can save our lives.
Applied to our lives, guardrails can help guide and protect us. It is a standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience. Most likely our biggest mistakes in life could have been avoided if we had guardrails steering us in the right direction. I'm going to resist asking this question. "How close can I get to sin without actually sinning?" In my world, I get asked that question all of the time. The goal should never be to see "how close I can get to a guardrail without crashing." Ideally we will never get anywhere near the guardrail. We need guardrails to keep us from going "too far" or from moving in a dangerous direction.
Friendships are powerful. The things that make friendships so great are the things that make friendships so dangerous. We are all repelled by rejection, and we are attracted to acceptance which leads to influence. When I'm with people that accept me I drop my guard. Friendships mold, define, and grow us in a direction and impact our present and future. We do life with friends. We all have wonderful stories of soul-touching friendships and unfortunate stories of mistakes and pain. Often, our biggest regrets are made in the company of our closest friends. We are honest, vulnerable, and exposed with friends. We become less careful, drop our guards, and are easily influenced by friendships. Whether you like it or not, you are deeply associated with the company of friends you maintain. The wisest man in the history and future of humanity, Solomon, said the following of friendship: Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
A wise person is a person that understands that all of life is connected. What you do today will influence who you are tomorrow. What you did yesterday will impact your experience in life today. A wise person makes decisions based not just on today but on the future. When you are with people that make decisions as if life is connected, this is contagious. It will impact on how you view the world and how you make decisions. A fool is a person that knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn't care. If you have friends that don't care about their lives, they are not going to be very concerned about your life.
Solomon offers a promise (walk with the wise and become wise) and a warning (a companion of fools suffers harm). As much as we do not want to admit it, we know this.
Good parents are constantly monitoring their children's friendships. You may remember being belligerent towards your parents when they did not allow you to spend time with certain kids in grade school. Somewhere along the way, however, we can forget to exercise the same level of caution as we develop friends in adulthood and as married couples.
God willing, guardrails in friendships will come next week! Have a great week!-David Vining
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