Act Your Way Into a Feeling

Act Your Way Into a Feeling

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by and the Scripture is by Dr. Tim Elmore, and the scripture is 1 John 3:18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

Miami Vice was a story of two rugged cops who used unconventional methods to get their job done.  Don Johnson, star of the 1980s TV show Miami Vice, was the man back in his day.   He was cool and tough.  One day as he entered his hotel room, he saw a thief rifling through his fiances purse.  The man had just robbed the place and was determined to get away with his loot.  When Don Johnson saw the thief he didn't have to think twice.  He took off after the crook, wrestled him to the ground and held the thief until police came to arrest him.  One bystander commented, "It was an amazing situation, just like the show!"

Don Johnson had so embraced the character he played over and over, it was intuitive for him to pursue the criminal that day.  It was second nature.  He had "acted" his way into a character.  You are more likely to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action.  There is power in raw action.

Psychologist George w. Crane become known for a case he handled with a female client.  The woman came to see Dr. Crane and told him she hated her husband and wanted to divorce him.  She told the psychologist how selfish her husband was, and she wanted to hurt him as badly as possible.  "Well, in that case," replied Dr. Crane, "I'd advise you to start showering him with compliments.  Make him his favorite meals and serve him in any way you can.  Do all you can to communicate you love him, and when you've become indispensable to him, then present the divorce papers to him.  This is the best way to hurt him deeply."

Dr. Crane sent her off and asked her to call in a few months to let him know when she was ready to begin the divorce proceedings.  Interestingly, she never called.  When Dr. Crane finally spoke to her and asked if she was ready for the divorce-she emphatically resisted.  "Divorce him?" she responded.  "I changed my mind.  When I began acting like I loved him, I discovered I really did."

We must become the change we desire.  We can't afford to wait until we "feel" like it.  We're more likely to act our way into a feeling than to feel our way into an action. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Bible Doing

Bible Doing

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is from Bob Goff's book, Love Does, and the Scripture is James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

 

The first thing I did was quit going to what Christians call a "Bible Study."  A Bible study sounds like a wholesome thing to go to, and honestly, it is.  They can come in as many flavors as there are people leading them.  At the ones I went to, I learned a bunch of facts and information about Jesus.  We might be studying how a guy named Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus.  The leader would open up a reference book and say something like, "The word dead means in the Greek .  .  ."  And then he'd say, "In the Hebrew the word means . . . "  Sometimes he'd get really into it and talk about the difference between the Greek version of dead and the Hebrew version.  Then he'd ask us a compelling question.    Something like, "When was the last time you felt dead?  Huh?  I asked myself.  Honestly, who really needs to hear a definition of dead?  And what difference did it make?  I wanted to talk about how I could do a better job following Jesus, how to practice kindness, and what might be possible to do with my faith before I'm the Greek or the Hebrew version of dead.

 

The guy's intentions were totally pure, so I don't mean to trash him or anything.  Most Wednesday nights, when I left the Bible study, I found I couldn't remember a single thing we'd talked about either.  But then I realized the reason I didn't remember anything was because, in the big scheme of things, it really didn't seem important to me.

 

So I started getting together with the same guys each week and instead of calling it a Bible study, we call it a "Bible doing."  We've been at it for fifteen years now, and I've found there's a big difference between the two.  At our Bible doing, we read what God has to say and then focus all of our attention on what we are going to do about it.  Just agreeing isn't enough.  I can't think of a single time where Jesus asked His friends to just agree with Him.

 

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Objections to Reconciliation

Objections to Reconciliation

Dear Champions,

The excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is in the excerpt.

Objection number 1:  It's just so complicated with this person because the stuff is so incredibly big.

Reconciliation is not about working through the issues.  It isn't about condemning or making sure you are justified.  Reconciliation is, I am going to open up the door and send you an invitation.  We don't have to talk about any of the issues.  I haven't heard from you in a while, and I wanted to send you an invitation to see the kids.  Hope things are going well. 

Are you saying that we are just going to ignore all of that stuff?  Yes!   Remember that while you were still a sinner Christ died for you and me (Romans 5:6).  God just wants you to send a picture, a letter, or to reach out and give somebody an update.   Reconciliation isn't about rehearsing the past and getting everyone on the same page and dealing with the elephants in the room.  Reconciliation is in spite of all of that.

Objection number 2:  If I start going over there, then it will look like I'm condoning that relationship. 

That's not your real reason, and you are just hiding behind that.  You just don't want to move in their direction.  While you were still sinning with all of your sin ahead of you, Christ 2000 years ago died for you anyway.  He didn't condone your sin.  He just moved into your direction and life in spite of your sin and started working.

The biggest objection:  I don't care how many letters, pictures or invitations I send, it's not going to work. 

If you open up, send an invitation and move in their direction, it's going to work on you.  Whether or not they ever respond and do anything in your direction isn't your issue.  If you move in their direction, down the road you will say this.  "My attempt to reconcile became the center of God's work in my life.  God got more mileage out of that decision than any other decision that I have ever made in my adult life.  Something has happened inside of me."

Attempts at reconciliation always work in someone.  If you are a Christ follower, your responsibility is to do toward them what your heavenly Father has done toward you.  Our attempts to reconcile should not be based on their behavior or the fact that they are ever going to respond or that they deserve it.  Because Christ's love compels us (2 Corinthians 5:14), we need to attempt to reconcile.  Christ's love for you and me compels us to set the table, open the door  and send the invitation.  Do everything in your power to make reconciliation possible just in case they ever decide to respond.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining