Hold Them Loosely

Hold Them Loosely

 

The short excerpt is by Ron Hutchcraft, and the Scripture is 1 Samuel 1:27-28 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.

 

A little boy had been trying for many days to capture one of the little birds that snacked in the family fields. He had tried over and over again to hide in the bushes and surprise one of those birds enough to get his hands on it. Finally, after many failed attempts, he captured his prize. And he could not wait to show his mommy. He wrapped his hands around that little bird and he ran all the way to his house. As soon as the little guy saw his mother, he proudly extended his cupped hands and said, Mommy, I got a bird! He is really cute! But his joy did not last long. As he slowly opened his hands for his mother to see, he noticed the bird was not moving - or breathing. It was one heartbroken boy who cried, Mommy, I was afraid I would lose him, but I held him so tight, I crushed him.

 

The story is just that - only a story. But the mistake the little boy made, well that is not just a story. It is a mistake made by many a mom or dad with a son or daughter they love very much. They held them so tightly that they lost them.

 

We tend to forget that a child is a trust from God; a gift He is given us to help care for, provide for, and develop. But they belong to Him, not to us. So a mom or dad who parent by God s design understand the power of these simple words: love them deeply, but hold them loosely.

 

In 1 Samuel 1 Hannah, the mother of Samuel, God s man to be the greatest judge who ever governed His people, had been unable to conceive for many years. But the Bible says that she kept on praying to the Lord. Ultimately, God wonderfully gave her that much-prayed-for boy, and she named him Samuel, which means heard of God. In Hannah s eyes, the sun must have risen and set on that boy; but she understood that while you love your child deeply, you hold him loosely.

 

Hannah gives Samuel over to the Lord for his whole life.  What a prayer for you to pray each new day as a mom or dad, no matter how young or how old your child is.  For his whole life or her whole life, he/she will be given over to the Lord.  Each day, you give that child back to the One who gave that child to you.

 

When you do that, you can avoid that unhealthy kind of love that crushes a child and often loses a child. A controlling parent, a manipulating parent, a guilt-tripping parent, a shaming parent, a dominating parent - those are parents who will ultimately produce the very results they fear by holding too tight.

 

Love them deeply - hold them loosely so they can learn to fly as God made them to.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

The Heart

 The Heart

The short excerpt is again from Jennifer Pharr Davis in her book, Becoming Odyssa, to be released later this Fall.  This book is from her first time of hiking all 2175 miles of the Appalachian Trail.  The scripture is 1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

 

Before I started hiking the trail, two of my biggest concerns were that I would be bored or lonely, but I think I actually experience loneliness and boredom more at home than on the trail.  Maybe the fact that I was not lonely had more to do with the quality of relationships than the quantity.  In college, I remember sitting in a packed classroom or cheering at a football game in the midst of a massive crowd, yet I would still feel alone.  I had also spent the last three years loathing social mixers.  Traveling around the room and having the same meaningless conversations with different people left me feeling empty inside.

 

The problem in college, and in life, was that there were a lot of people who knew what I was, but they did not know who I was.  No wonder there was so much pressure to look a certain way, when usually the only thing people got to know was someone s outer image.

 

One of my favorite things about the trail is that you did not see your face.  I mean, I guess you could have seen it in the reflection of the water, but there were no mirrors, no vanities, and no places to check yourself out.  I used to think that people perceived me based on how I looked but on the trail I felt like people perceived me by how I treated them, by what I said to them and how well I listened.  I felt beautiful when I made other people smile.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Truth Claims

Truth Claims

The following short excerpt is from Tim Keller, and the Scripture is Luke 23: 34 Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

To say, No one should make truth claims because that leads to oppression and is just a power play is the biggest power play of all.   Everybody does make and believes truth claims, and to say that no one should say that they have the truth is itself a power trip and a way of getting on top.  It is not making a truth claim that leads to oppression, but it is what is in the claim.

Several years ago I was absolutely amazed by the reports that came from the Amish community when a man came into the school and slaughtered those little Amish school girls.   We understand that one of the little girls who was killed offered to die for the rest of them.  She said, Kill me and let the rest go.

They did not watch television or movies, so where would she have gotten that idea of dying for her friends?  When it was all over the reporters themselves were amazed that the community and the bereaved families not only forgave the man who did it, but they took up a collection and prayed for the widow and the children of the man who did it. 

Now by anyone s definition the Amish are fundamentalists, and they believe that they have the truth.  Have you ever heard anyone say, Fundamentalists think that they know the truth, and that leads to oppression?  It did not lead to oppression there, and why not?  Because it depends on what the fundamental is?  The fundamental in this case is a man dying on a cross for his enemies-a man with whose last breath blesses the people around him and prays for their forgiveness.  If you take that into the very center of your life, then you begin to see that it is not truth claims that lead to oppression and erode freedom but what is in the truth claim.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

We Reap What We Sow

We Reap What We Sow

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley in his book, The Best Question Ever, and the Scripture is Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

 

Nothing has stolen more dreams, dashed more hopes, broken up more families, and messed up more people psychologically than our propensity to disregard God s commands regarding sexual purity.  Their results are predictable, but most people think that their outcome will be the exception.

 

In my chiropractor s waiting room I struck up a conversation with a woman whose son was reading a book I had read, and she asked me if I was a teacher.  When I informed her that I was a pastor, she launched into a detailed account of her unfaithful husband and subsequent divorce.  When she mentioned that her husband had run off with his younger secretary, she went on to talk about how quickly he had married his mistress and how difficult it was to find a job that left her with the flexibility she needed to raise their middle-school-aged son.

 

I shook my head and said, Well, let me assure you of one thing:  Your husband is far more miserable than you will ever be. She looked confused, as did the other people in the waiting room who were pretending not to listen.  What do you mean by that? She asked.

 

Well, pretty soon your ex s new wife is going to want to start a family, but he is not going to want to do that because he already did that once.  She is going to be upset, and either way he goes, he is not going to get what he wants.  One day he is going to wake up and realize that he is stuck.

 

Immediately, the guy to my left, whose nose had been buried in his newspaper, blurted out, You got that right!  Apparently I had hit a nerve.  But since I had already opened up one can of worms, I just ignored his comment and focused on my new friend.

 

She sat up a little straighter and actually smiled at the thought of her ex suffering for a change.  You know, I did not think about that, but I bet that you are right.  And he is definitely not going to want to start another family.  Then she turned and said, But how did you know all of that?

 

I am a pastor, I said.  I have seen this played out more times than I can count.  Solomon was right.  There is nothing new under the sun.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining