This is the Day

This is the Day

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is longer than usual and is from AP sports writer Joe Kay.  The scripture is Psalm 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it.

Coach Dan Benjamin of Division III Mount St. Joseph in Cincinnati has the two-hour practice mapped out, including a special play he's installing for the Lions' sold-out women's basketball season opener. A black whistle dangles in front of his gray "Play for 22" T-shirt.  No. 22 would be freshman Lauren Hill.

She's moving slowly today. There are days when the inoperable tumor squeezing her brain also saps her energy and robs her of coordination. She finally comes out onto the court carrying a water bottle and her teammates call out to her in encouragement: "Hey Lauren!"

Given how she's feeling, it would be easy to skip the practice. But since her diagnosis a year ago, she has made sure no opportunity gets wasted.

"That's kind of how I look at it," Hill said, resting in a folding chair after practice Thursday. "I'm spreading awareness and also teaching people how to live in the moment because the next moment's not promised. Anything can happen at any given moment. What matters is right now."

Acknowledging the urgency, the NCAA made a special exception to move up Mount St. Joseph's opener against Hiram College to Nov. 2, despite its rules that require seasons to start later in November. The scheduling change gives Hill a better shot to get on the court — the only chance she may get before the growing tumor that hinders her play also claims her life.

After the move, Xavier University offered its 10,000-seat arena so more people could attend. The game sold out faster than a Cleveland Cavaliers exhibition earlier this month.

College basketball players and sports teams from around the country are signing No. 22 jerseys and sending them to Lauren for support. The United States Basketball Writers Association has voted her for the Pat Summitt most courageous award, which is usually given out at the Final Four.

"This is an amazing young lady who's made an impact on the world, more than I will ever do," said Benjamin, a coach for 25 years. "I wish everybody could meet her."

Hill played basketball and soccer in nearby Lawrenceburg, Indiana. On her 18th birthday last October, she decided to commit to play basketball at The Mount, as it's known locally. A few weeks later, she started feeling bad. Tests found the cancerous tumor growing throughout her brain. Surgery wasn't an option. Six weeks of radiation, an experimental drug and two months of chemotherapy didn't help much. Doctors estimated she had a year to live.

"I try not to — try really hard not to — but it's hard to not think about down the road," she said.

A lot of people are going out of their way to get to know the ponytailed player who is showing everyone — with each deliberate dribble, left-handed shot and each time she just shows up — what it means to live each day fully.

Hill's parents and two younger siblings are trying to pack as much as they can into however many weeks she has left.

"You try not to concentrate on it too much because you can get caught up in the grief of the sheer fact that you're probably going to lose your child," her mother, Lisa Hill said. "But if I grieve and get depressed and curl up into a ball, I rob myself and her of today. Why?

"We've got today. I can spend today with her doing everything we want to do — just chit-chatting, listening to music, going shopping, whatever she wants to do. If I didn't get out of bed, I'd miss out on all those things."

Although she's right-handed, Lauren has to shoot with her left because the tumor is affecting her right side more severely. She gets dizzy if she moves her head side-to-side, so she has to move her upper body instead. Her balance is a little off. She'll be able to play only a few minutes at a time on Nov. 2.

Even with all of that, she refuses to think of it as her one and only game.

"She says, 'I hate that. If I can play one more game, I'm playing one more game,'" Lisa Hill said. "If she's upright and able, she'll still be out there."

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Your Cornerstone

Your Cornerstone

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is 1 Peter 2:6  See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him (Jesus) will never be put to shame." 

The cornerstone is your foundation.  The cornerstone of a building is the thing on which everything rested, and if the cornerstone was unsteady in any way, the whole building trembled. 

I remember talking years ago to a counselor at an Ivey League School, and she said that what is interesting is that everybody who comes to an Ivey League School made A's where they came from and somebody is going to get B's and C's and a lot of them showed up on my couch.  She said that it is one thing to want good grades, but it's another thing to basically build your identity on the idea that I am smart.  When the cornerstone shakes, then the whole life shakes. 

A lot of athletes start to feel good about themselves until they retire and very often their life falls apart.  Why?  It's great to want to be an athlete, but it's another thing to build your identity on it.  

The one who puts their trust in Jesus will never be put to shame.  If you build your life on any other cornerstone, you will fill like a failure when your cornerstone shakes.  You'll be shaken to the roots, and you'll feel like you don't have a self.  You have to recognize that you do have a cornerstone, and Jesus has to become precious to you. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Naive Grace-Part 2

Naïve Grace-Part 2

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is continued from last week and is again by the late Mike Yaconelli, and the scripture is Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Most of my life, I heard the message loud and clear that Christianity was all about coloring within the lines and coloring well.  If I was a good Christian, if I loved Jesus and wanted to please Him, if I read my Bible, prayed, and went to church, then I would get better and better at coloring.  And if I lived a long and godly life, I would eventually be able to draw close to the perfect drawing.  But wherever that message came from, it was a lie -- I am 52 years old, and my coloring still looks like Alana's.

 

I believe God looks at my coloring and says, "Hmmmmmmm.  You certainly like the color green!  Lots of passion in this stroke.  I like it."

 

Even as I write those words, I can hear the "concern" of those who worry about others misunderstanding the gospel.  "You're not suggesting, are you, that nothing matters to God?  Certainly, God has standards!"

 

What I am suggesting is that God's grace is outside the lines of our understanding, and we can only stand in awe and wonder.  Christianity is not about learning how to live within the lines;  It is about the joy of coloring.  The grace of God is preposterous enough to accept as beautiful a coloring that anyone else would reject as ugly.  The grace of God sees beyond the scribbling to the heart of the scribbler – a scribbler who is similar to 2 thieves who hung on crosses on either side of Jesus.  One of the two asked Jesus to please accept his scribbled and sloppy life into the kingdom of God…and He did.  Preposterous. 

 

And very good news for the rest of us scribblers…

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

 

Naive Grace-Part 1

Naïve Grace-Part 1

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by the late Mike Yaconelli, and the scripture is Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

A few years ago, I asked some friends if they would have their 2-year-old daughter, Alana, color me a page out of her coloring book.  When Alana colored, she never worried about lines, realism, or symmetry.  It never occurred to her that something could be wrong with her work.  Alana colored the page, and she brought it to me just before Sunday morning worship service. 

           

She was very proud and excited, anxious for my response.  I did respond, in the same manner I imagine most of us would respond:  I lied.  "Oh, Alana, thank you for this beautiful drawing!  It must have taken you a long time, and it's very special.  Thank you again."  Of course, part of me was thinking, This is terrible.  Is red the only color you could use?  How about yellow?  Blue?  Green?  None of your strokes are even close to being within the lines.  What's the matter with you?  Take this back and draw it again – only do it right this time!

 

But I couldn't criticize Alana, in part because she exhibited grace, the grace of a child who knows it is okay to color outside the lines.  Was she naïve?  Sure.  Would to God we all kept our childlike naivete about grace…

 

Most of my life, I heard the message loud and clear that Christianity was all about coloring within the lines and coloring well.  If I was a good Christian, if I loved Jesus and wanted to please Him, if I read my Bible, prayed, and went to church, then I would get better and better at coloring.  And if I lived a long and godly life, I would eventually be able to draw close to the perfect drawing.  But wherever that message came from, it was a lie -- I am 52 years old, and my coloring still looks like Alana's.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Guardrails in Friendships Part 2

Guardrails for Friendships Part 2

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is once again Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

 

Guardrails are a standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience to keep you from danger and from making poor decisions. 

 

Guardrail #1 -  It dawns on you that your core group isn't moving in the direction you want your life to be moving.  This should concern you to the point that you recognize it and do something about it.  Step back and honestly evaluate where you are going and where the lives of your core friends are going.  When you realize this, actively seek out and invest in an additional or new group of people.  Look for a better place to start putting down roots. 

 

Guardrail #2 – You catch yourself pretending to be someone other than who you really are.  You may also hear the following within your conscience: "I'm not myself" or "I don't feel comfortable."  Pull back from these relationships.  Some of us have been directly warned about this but do not notice the sirens and flashing lights. You may have heard a variation of the following phrase:  " When you are around these people you are not yourself.  You act differently."   This should cause you great concern. Sometimes we get defensive, but most of the time our significant others are right.

 

Guardrail #3 -  You feel pressure to compromise.  When you are with these people, you probably ignore certain values or try to rationalize with yourself.  True and good friends will point you to what is right, good, and righteous.  In these situations, what has never been a temptation before suddenly becomes a live and real option. You begin considering behaviors you have always thought of as off-limits.  This should concern you, and your flags should start going up.

 

Guardrail #4 – You hear yourself saying, "I'll go, but I won't participate."  If you are considering being in the proximity of [fill in the blank], but tell yourself you will not participate or engage, then 99.9% of the time, you have no business going! We should flee from sin and immorality, not see how close we can get. This should be a warning and wake-up call that you notice!  In these situations, you are just too close.  You never know when things could get out of hand. You could do something you regret or be guilty by association.

 

Guardrail #5 – You hope the people you care about most don't find out who you were with or where you have been.  Something inside you tenses up when you think about the people you care about most knowing where you were, what you were doing, or who you were doing it with. To some extent, you feel you may have to defend yourself.  In these situations, your mind is working in overdrive conjuring an excuse, explanation or rationalization to have readily available if needed.  This should bother you.

 

We often tell ourselves lies like "I'm just being Christian and showing acceptance, compassion, or love by staying in this relationship."  You may also think, "But I really love these people… Jesus modeled that we should love people." These are sly lies from the depths of Satan.  You are using compassion or love as an excuse for inaction.  You are lying to yourself.  This is not about your friends… it is about you.  Never confuse compassion and wisdom.  They do not compete with each other. Compassion should never require you to make an unwise decision for yourself.

 

Intentionally drawing back from these relationships can be the most loving and compassionate action you ever take. The best thing you can do in life is stay on the correct side of the guardrail. This is where you model Christ's heart.   When people crash or when "crap" hits the fan your friend will probably run to you first.  You will be the "go-to person."  It is in these moments where we have true opportunities to witness with extraordinary wisdom, compassion, help, insight, and love.  By withdrawing from the relationships, you allow yourself to be healthy and ready for these opportunities.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

 

Guardrails in Friendship

Guardrails in Friendships

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is in the excerpt.

Guardrails are "a system designed to keep something from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas."    Guardrails are designed with simplistic purpose. They create a small accident to protect you from a larger incident.  We rarely pay attention to or think about guardrails until we need them. When we need or use them, they can save our lives.

 

Applied to our lives, guardrails can help guide and protect us. It is a standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience.    Most likely our biggest mistakes in life could have been avoided if we had guardrails steering us in the right direction.  I'm going to resist asking this question.  "How close can I get to sin without actually sinning?"  In my world, I get asked that question all of the time.  The goal should never be to see "how close I can get to a guardrail without crashing."  Ideally we will never get anywhere near the guardrail. We need guardrails to keep us from going "too far" or from moving in a dangerous direction.

 

Friendships are powerful. The things that make friendships so great are the things that make friendships so dangerous.  We are all repelled by rejection, and we are attracted to acceptance which leads to influence.  When I'm with people that accept me I drop my guard.  Friendships mold, define, and grow us in a direction and impact our present and future. We do life with friends. We all have wonderful stories of soul-touching friendships  and unfortunate stories of mistakes and pain. Often, our biggest regrets are made in the company of our closest friends.  We are honest, vulnerable, and exposed with friends. We become less careful, drop our guards, and are easily influenced by friendships.  Whether you like it or not, you are deeply associated with the company of friends you maintain.  The wisest man in the history and future of humanity, Solomon, said the following of friendship:  Proverbs 13:20  Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

 

A wise person is a person that understands that all of life is connected.  What you do today will influence who you are tomorrow.  What you did yesterday will impact your experience in life today.  A wise person makes decisions based not just on today but on the future.  When you are with people that make decisions as if life is connected, this is contagious.  It will impact on how you view the world and how you make decisions.  A fool is a person that knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn't care.  If you have friends that don't care about their lives, they are not going to be very concerned about your life. 

Solomon offers a promise (walk with the wise and become wise) and a warning (a companion of fools suffers harm).  As much as we do not want to admit it, we know this.

Good parents are constantly monitoring their children's friendships. You may remember being belligerent towards your parents when they did not allow you to spend time with certain kids in grade school. Somewhere along the way, however, we can forget to exercise the same level of caution as we develop friends in adulthood and as married couples.

 

God willing, guardrails in friendships will come next week!  Have a great week!-David Vining

Guardrails in Marriage Part 2

Guardrails in Marriage Part 2

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

If you establish these guardrails in your marriage, you will not regret this.  These aren't in the Bible.  I made them all up based on many conversations, phone calls, emails, and heartbreaking circumstances.  I have talked to so many men and women who would say I wish I heard that and done it. 

Married People List:

1.  Don't travel alone with members of the opposite sex.

2.  Don't eat alone with members of the opposite sex.  Every affair, except for one, I have ever been involved with as it relates to talking with people, it began right here.  If you find yourself in a situation to where you are surprised by the fact that you are having to eat alone with someone of the opposite sex, you call your spouse. 

3.  Don't hire cute members of the opposite sex because you want to help them.  Don't deceive yourself.   (Andy actually involves his wife when hiring members of the opposite sex to get her input.)

4.  Don't confide in or counsel members of the opposite sex.  It is dangerous.  When your emotional world gets entwined with another, you have crossed an invisible, intangible but dangerous line in terms of intimacy.  Intimacy begins with the emotional.  I cannot begin to tell you all of the pastors and Christian counselors that ditched and blew up their marriage trying to help someone.  The most compassionate thing that you can do for you and your family is to get that person help and refuse to be the shoulder that they lean on. 

5.  When you feel your heart or your desire drifting toward a specific person, tell someone.  I'm not saying to tell your spouse.  There's a time when you do that, but I'm not saying that up front.  There needs to be someone that is safe that you can tell.

Your spouse needs to know where your guardrails are so that they can call you on it.  Also, your spouse needs to be comfortable with your guardrails. 

Single People List:

1.  Applied the married people guidelines in your relationships with married people.  In other words, treat that married person like you're going to want someone to treat your married person once you are married.  I don't travel or have dinner or confide with married people. 

2.  No sleepovers. 

3.  If in the dating scene that you are part of, if date has become equivalent to sex, then you need to take a break and decide for one year that you will not date.  You need a year to renew your mind and for God to renew your heart. 

You are never going to regret having these kinds of guardrails.  That's how you have an amazing, extreme, and one of a kind marriage.  Exclusivity fuels intimacy in marriage?  When your spouse believes that she or he is the only one for you, that is powerful.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining