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Love is an Action First That Leads to Feeling

Love is an Action First That Leads to Feeling

Dear Greystone Champions,

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the Scripture is Philippians 2:3-4  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
 
When people say, "Why don't we live together?  Why do we need to be married?  I love you.  Why do I need a piece of paper to show you that love?"  If you define love as feeling, that's right.  That's not what the Bible ever means when it means love.  Biblically, if somebody says," I love you, but I don't want to marry you."  What they mean is, "I don't love you that much." There's no way around that.  A person who says, "I love you, and I want to marry you," loves you more than the person who says, "I love you, but I don't want to marry you."  Love by definition biblically is a commitment.  It's the ability to make an exclusive and a permanent commitment.  When somebody says, "I don't need a piece of paper to show that I love you," yes you do!  If you love a person the way the Bible says that two people are supposed to love one another in order to share their lives together, it means that you have no problem making a legal permanent exclusive commitment to them.
 
At some point love is simply a decision to serve somebody and be committed to somebody regardless of your feelings and regardless to how that person acts.  The person attracts you, there are a lot of things that you like about them, you have fun together, but at a certain point, you simply make a decision that you are going to love this person.  Your feelings will always come and go.  The problem is that a lot of people don't get married because they're sure that if this is the one, "My feelings will never ebb."   If this is the one, then I will just know that it's the one because I'll never have any problem.  I'll never look at that person and feel," Ugh!"  I'll never look at that person and feel, Yak!  I'll never look at that person and find a problem there.  I'll always feel like giving myself to them.  You will wait until Hell freezes over if you wait for that. 
 
Love is an action first that leads to feeling, it's not a feeling that leads to an action.

Champions, have a great day and week!-David Vining

Perspective

Perspective

Dear Champions,

March Madness ended this past week, and Baylor won it all.  What stood out to me during the tournament is what Coach Paul Mills said to the press after his number 15 seeded Oral Roberts defeated the number 2 seeded Ohio State to reach the Sweet 16.  Here is what he said.

"I tell our guys this often: We need to use our God-given abilities for God-given reasons, and we need to make sure — in a hundred years, none of us will be here, and what our guys need to understand is we are really not that important. And you need to know that. As much as I admire Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., there aren't three people who gather every Sunday to celebrate his greatness. We are not going to sit around and act like we're great.

Now, 120 million people gather every Sunday, 180 million on Easter, to celebrate one name, and that is the name of Jesus Christ.  There is no other name under Heaven and Earth given to men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). To be at an institution that honors that and we can give them something to celebrate is special."

We also really aren't that important.  At the time, we are important to God.  He knows the number of hairs on our head (Luke 12:7), and we serve a God that would rather die for us than live without us.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Someone Has to Pay the Debt!

Someone Has to Pay the Debt

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is 1 Peter 3:18  For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.

 

There is no one on the face of the earth that can face an evaluation of how they've lived their lives!  Some people say, "Here's the thing I don't understand.  This idea of a debt that has to be paid for.  Surely if there is a God, He can just forgive it, can't He?"  No!

 

If someone really wrongs you, what happens?  I would suggest there's a debt.  There's something between you and that person who has seriously wronged you that can't be ignored.  You can make them pay it down by hurting them.  As you see them paying it, you can sense the debt being paid down and at a certain point it's gone.  

 

The other thing you can do is forgive them.  To forgive means that when I want to hurt someone, I don't.  When I want to slice up their reputation by talking to other people, I don't.  If I refuse to do that, then I'll find as time goes on that my anger slowly subsides because I'm paying the debt down myself.  It's difficult!  When a real wrong is done, someone has to pay the debt or the barrier is there.

 

We have wronged God and our neighbor, and there is a debt that must be paid.  When Jesus Christ cried, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me," the Father paid the debt!  Jesus had to die!

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Our Battle is Spiritual

Our Battle is Spiritual

 

Dear Champions,

 

The scripture is Ephesians 6:12. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

 

Tomorrow is the election.  It is possible that there may be violence after this year's election.  The more passionate that you are about who you think should win, the more angry you may get.  Our battle, however, is not against a political party or a group of people or the news media, google, facebook, twitter, etc.  Hiding in the background is Satan that is stirring the pot of anger, violence and hate.  Here are a couple of verses to help us.

 2 Corinthians 10:4-5  For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 

 

Ephesians 6:13  Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 

 

Champions, have a great week, pray for others & our own hearts, and let us remember 1 Corinthians 16:14.  Do everything in love.-David Vining

 

Trusting God

Trusting God

Dear Champions,

I wrote the short excerpt, and the scripture is 2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Yesterday I was disappointed and angry.  Camp Greystone, like many camps throughout the country, has cancelled every session this summer.  What expert in North Carolina decided that overnight camps in the state can only have campers from N.C. or from states that border N.C.?  Who decided that Staff and campers with symptoms (fever, cough, runny nose, etc.) at camp should immediately be separated and sent home and referred to their healthcare provider?  The experts came up with impossible guidelines for Greystone to follow.

In life there are risks.  Every time we get in a car there is a risk that we could be in a wreck.  Every day we decide if we want to take that risk.  

I listen to the experts, but my trust is not in them.  Their opinions change, and they vary from state to state.  I do trust in God!  He is Sovereign! Isaiah 55:9 says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  I don't know why He has allowed this to happen, but I am going to trust Him.

Philippians 2:4 says, "Look not only to your own interest but also to the interest of others."  Imagine losing your entire income for a whole year!  That is what Camp Greystone & camps all over are facing right now.  We can show God's faithfulness to them by helping them out by praying for them and possibly by donating to them.  Here is a link to donate to Camp Greystone if you would like to help.  Please forward this link to people that you think might want to help.

https://www.cognitoforms.com/CampGreystone/SupportGreystoneDuringThePandemic

If you are receiving this and are not associated with Greystone, perhaps there is a camp that is special to you that you could help get through this challenging season.

Champions, be wise but live with power, love and self-discipline!  Have a great week!-David Vining 

Sinful & Incredibly Valuable!

Sinful & Incredibly Valuable

Dear Champions,

 

The scripture is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is Matthew 5:45   God causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

 

Over the years I have seen people getting completely destroyed by the troubles in their lives.  And here's why.  There's a premise underneath our lives that's so deep that we don't even realize it is there.  And the premise is this: "If I live right, my life should go right."  So if your life goes wrong, you either say (1) "Something's wrong with me.  I hate myself, because I must be a failure."  Or (2)  "I hate God, because He's not treating me as I deserve."  Then, every mode of the experience is either going to lead you into self-hatred or God-hatred.  And if that becomes a sustained theme in your life, your life will be poisoned. 

 

The gospel says that you are sinful and incredibly valuable.  People who try and earn their salvations think like this.  "If I'm living up to the expectations and obeying all of the rules and doing right, then I'm good and I'm valuable." Then when things go wrong the

anger is toward God. "I hate you! How can you do this to me?" But if you're not living up to your standards, then you feel sinful and worthless. Then when things go wrong you get angry, but instead of getting mad at God you get angry with yourself.

 

The gospel doesn't say that you are either good or valuable or sinful or worthless. It says that you are very sinful and absolutely valuable in Christ. Because you know that you are sinful, when bad things happen, you don't complain. But because you know that you are valuable, when bad things happen, you know that it is not a punishment.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

50 Cents, $10,000 or More

50 Cents, $10,000 or More

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the Scripture is Isaiah 53:7  He (Jesus) was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.  

 

We need to have a sense of Jesus' love to be changed, and His suffering is tied to our value. On the cross He didn't cry out about the nails or wounds.  He cried out about being forsaken. He was cast away for us, and unless we see how much He suffered for us we'll never appreciate his love. 

 

If you come home and a guest tells you that a package came with payment due and he paid it, then you'll want to know how much it was so you'll know how thankful to be.  If it's 50 cents you're grateful, but if it's an IRS bill for $10,000 you will have a different reaction. You don't how grateful to be until you know the cost. 

 

How much does God love you? Look at what he paid. If you don't believe in hell, but that God loves everybody, will that change you?  No, it hasn't yet. If you don't believe in hell, then you'll never know how much He loves you.  Jesus took hell for us because He values us that much.

 

Pastor Barnhouse, when passing a truck on the way to his wife's funeral, saw the shadow of the truck and asked his kids, "Would you rather be hit by the truck or the shadow of the truck?"  The kids obviously said that they would rather be hit by the shadow of the truck.  Then he explained to his small children that Jesus was hit by the truck so that we only have to be hit by the shadow of the truck.

 

Champions, have a Happy Easter!-David Vining

For Intimacy, Monogamy Matters

For Intimacy, Monogamy Matters

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Cassette tapes are obsolete. Monogamy is more like an endangered species-something to be fed and protected.  The value a culture places on monogamy determines the welfare of its women and children. Women and children do not fare well in societies that embrace polygamy or promiscuity. In the majority of cases, sexual freedom undermines the financial freedom of women. Sexual freedom eventually undermines the financial and emotional security of children.

If we are only biology, none of the above really matters. All's well that ends with the survival of the species. If we are only biology, monogamy was probably a flawed concept from the start. But very few of us live as if we are only biology.  As a pastor, I've officiated my share of weddings and I've done my share of premarital counseling. I always ask couples why they are getting married. Survival of the species never makes the list.

We desire intimacy—to know and to be fully known without fear. Intimacy is fragile. Intimacy is powerful. Intimacy is fueled by exclusivity.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Male & Female Gifts

Male & Female Gifts

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Little boy babies, when they come to an obstacle, they want to push it over.  Girl babies, when they get next to an obstacle, they want to go around it.  Boy babies prefer lower complexity of stimuli.  Girl babies prefer higher complexity of stimuli.  At six months old, when girl babies hear jazz, their hearts start beating faster, and boy babies just ignore it.  It's a proven fact.  There are differences.  In Carol Gilligan's book, In A Different Voice, research has shown that men see themselves maturing as they separate and become independent and make impact.  Women see themselves maturing as they attach themselves, as they become interdependent.  Men, therefore, have the gift of independence, and women have the gift of interdependence. 

For men, the gift of independence has a tendency to become tyranny.  The female gift of interdependence has a tendency to become dependent.  In Genesis 3 after Adam and Eve rebel against God, God says to Adam, "You will sweat and work in the dust of the ground and thorns and thistles will come up."  And then He says to Eve, "You will have pain in childbearing and your desire will be for your husband, but he will rule over you." 

When God curses humanity, He curses different aspects.  When He curses Adam, He curses his work.  He says, "Your need and your desire to have an impact on the world, to be independent, to achieve, to have impact, is going to become an idol.  It's going to become too important to you, and you will always be frustrated because it will never give you what you want."  He turns to the wife, and He curses her relationships.  He says, "You will want your husband desperately, but your husband will rule over you."  The teaching is that the wife's interdependence gift under the influence of sin will trip her up.  She will become a dependent person.  The husband whose independent gift is now under the influence of sin, instead of being an independent person, he will be a tyrant and will rule over her and master her.  When masculinity and femininity go bad, the independence becomes tyranny and interdependence becomes dependence.  The Bible teaches that under the influence of sin men will tend to oppress women, and women will tend to make it easy for them. 

Men and women in marriage are supposed to learn to submit to one another.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Sheep

Sheep

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is in the excerpt.

 

A sheep is a stupid animal, and they follow one another and lose their direction continually in a way that cats and dogs do not.  But even when they are found they are never happy to be found.  It is extremely difficult to round up a lost sheep and bring it home unless you have a dog to scare it.  The lost sheep rushes to and fro so that even when you find it, you must seize it, cast it down, tie its four legs together, put his hind legs together, put it over your shoulder and carry it home struggling.  The sheep never feels loved when it's being loved.  They never feel safe when it's being made safe.

 

In John 10 Jesus says, "I am the good shepherd.  The hired hand when he sees the wolf coming; he abandons the sheep and runs away, but I lay down my life for the sheep."  Jesus is the only shepherd who became a sacrificial lamb.  Behold the lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world.  Here's what Jesus is saying to you.  "I am the good shepherd.  I lost my glory, my Father, and my life, so that I wouldn't lose you."  There's no better way to intimacy with God than to have something horrible happen in your life that makes you really doubt God's love and go to Him anyway and say, "By God's grace, Thy will be done."  When it's hard, pray anyway.  When it is hard, obey anyway.  When you feel like you are being ceased and thrown unto the ground, just say, "Thy will be done," and it'll push you into an intimacy that you never had because you'll have to get to know Him as a shepherd.  If you've been wounded and you say, "Lord, I want you to heal me," but it doesn't look like you are getting healed, then there is only one way through it.  You must say, "Evidently God you want a wounded me in this world to do certain things and to be a certain person and to get certain things done that I couldn't get done unless I was wounded.  To say, "Thy will be done by the grace of God," is a way to intimacy.  

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

We Need a Wedding Garment

We Need a Wedding Garment

Dear Champions,

The first 3 paragraphs of the short excerpt are by Tim Keller, and the excerpt is Matthew 22:10-12  So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, both good and bad, and the wedding hall was filled with guests.  But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. 'Friend,' he asked, 'how did you get in here without wedding clothes?' The man was speechless.  (the entire parable is Matthew 22:1-14)

There are many people who say, "I don't believe in a God who punishes people. I believe in a God who accepts everyone just as they are."  If you believe that, you're coming in without a wedding garment. 

 

Look at the evil and injustice in the world!  If we have a God who just says, "I love you all just the way that you are," what hope is there for the world?  The Biblical God says, "I will square everything!  There will not be one unjust deed that will not be paid.   It could be paid either one of two ways.  Either you will pay, or my son can pay."   

 

God does not just love people unconditionally.  He loves people counter conditionally, at an infinite cost to Himself.  You do not earn your place in the kingdom of God.  If you go right into God just as you are you will be thrown into the outer darkness, and there will be no joy in your life. 

 

Those people going in to the wedding without a garment thought that they were good enough on their own good deeds and works!  None of us are good enough on our own record!  Accept the wedding garment and follow Jesus! 

 

Champions, have a great summer!-David Vining

Being Honest in the Little Things

Being Honest in the Little Things

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is from Dave Ramsey's book Financial Peace, and the Scripture is Luke 16:10 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."

 

Doug Parsons tells an interesting story about character.  One of the richest and most powerful men in America owned a huge company that employed thousands of people.  This gentleman pointed out an up-and-coming low-level manager to his upper-level staff.  This young man worked very hard and was very good at his management position.  The owner noticed the young man because of his work ethic and talent and commented that someday this young man would be a regional manager long before his time.  Sure enough, the young man continued to work hard and was promoted up through the ranks to the point that the next promotion was to be regional manager.  When the owner became aware that this promotion was to be made, he decided to fly down and personally give that young man the promotion over lunch.

 

The big day arrived and the owner flew in to take the young man to lunch.  But as the young man and the owner were going through the cafeteria-style line for lunch, the owner noticed the young man very deliberately hide a one-cent pat of butter under his roll so as not to be charged for it.  The lunch went fine-except that no promotion was given-and when the owner returned to his offices he had the young man fired.  Not only did the young man miss a several-hundred-thousand-dollar-a-year position, he even lost his job.

 

A close friend of mine suggested that such an extreme action was a bit severe.  Maybe he wanted the warmth of the roll to warm the butter, making it easy to spread.  Whatever the other circumstances surrounding the story, the point is that the owner understood that the young man's character flaw of dishonesty would be magnified under pressure.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

The Shepherd

The Shepherd

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is John 10:11.  "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

God works through people that the world thinks are failures.  The ultimate example of God's working in the world is from the only founder of a major religion who died in disgrace.  He was not surrounded by His loving disciples but abandoned by everybody including His Father.  Jesus Christ's salvation is a salvation that came through defeat, poverty, and rejection.

 

God is a shepherd.  If He was just a king, His salvation would be, "Here's the law!  Do it and you will live!"  Because He was a shepherd, He's got to come and fulfill everything for us.  He does it by sending Jesus Christ to live the life that we should have lived and die the death that we should have died and take the penalty for our sins.  The salvation of the world had to come into the world in weakness and defeat.  In every other religion it says, "Pull yourself together and be strong!"  Then say, "God, accept me because of what I've done."  But the gospel is to admit that you are not together and that you are weak.  You have to say, "God, you're going to have to relate to me because of what Jesus has done."  

 

The gospel message is that you are more sinful and evil and weak than you ever dared believe, but you are more valued and accepted and loved than you ever dared hope.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Perfect Love!

Perfect Love!

 

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the Scripture is John 11:33-35 When Jesus saw Mary weeping (because of the death of Lazarus), he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied.  Jesus wept.

 

Mary asks Jesus, "Lord, why weren't you here because you could have stopped this?"  Jesus can't even speak, but He just weeps.  Now this has startled me about this passage for years.  When Jesus moves into a situation like this He knows why it happened, the purpose of it, and He knows how He is going to turn it into a glorious manifestation of the glory of God.  He knows that in just 10 minutes or so that everyone there will be rejoicing when He raises Lazarus from the dead.  

 

If we went in this knowing that we were about to turn everybody's weeping into joy in about 10 minutes, then why would we weep?  Does it make psychological sense that if you knew that you were about to turn everything around in 10 minutes that you would be weeping and that you would enter into the grief and the pain and the trauma of their hearts?  Why would He do that?  Because that's perfect love.  Jesus will not close His heart even for 10 minutes, and He will not refuse to enter in the pain.  

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other gods (Idols)

Other gods (Idols)

 

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the Scripture is Exodus 20:3-5  "You shall have no other gods before me. " . . .

 

The thoughts that a battered woman shared with Tim Keller.

 

I'm going to my counselor and much of what she has said is right.  My counselor said that I have built my very significance and acceptability and identity on men, and that's why I have been defensive with them.  I simply have needed them too much.  All of that is right and helpful.  However, my counselor says that what I should do instead is to get myself a great career.  While my counselor means well-I absolutely do need to get some training and get myself a job and career, but what she is saying is that I should do that so that I will also feel better about myself.  But that would mean that I would be switching from one kind of idol to another.  For many years my heart has been looking at men and saying unless I'm successful at love, then I'm nothing.  But the counselor wants me to look at my career and say that unless I am a successful independent businesswoman who is in control of my own life, then I am nothing.  I don't want to be enslaved to my work as I was to men.  I'm actually being asked to exchange a typical female idol for a typical male idol, and I don't want either. 

 

When I asked the woman how was she doing, she actually quoted Colossians 3.  When Christ, who is your life appears, you will be glorified.  She says that it is very practical.  "When I go to church, when I am in worship, when what Jesus did for me is so real and so wonderful, in my heart I think of the men in my life and I say, I'm glad to know you, and I certainly wouldn't mind being married, but you are not my life.  Christ is my life.  You're a good thing, but you are not an ultimate thing.  I would love to have a husband, but if I don't, then I've got Jesus.  I set my mind on things above, and you can't give me any of the things that Jesus has given me.  I don't want to look to men or to a career.  A career can't die for me.  If I life for a career and fail, it will beat me up for having been a failure.  But if I live for Jesus, He died for me to forgive me.  Jesus is the only Savior that if you get Him will satisfy you.  If you fail Him, and we do fail Him, He can die for you."

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Taking Responsibility

Taking Responsibility

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is Genesis 3:8-12  Just after Adam and Eve sinned, the man and the woman heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.   But the Lord God called to the man, "Where are you?".  He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked so I hid."  And God said, "Who told you that you were naked?  Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"  Adam said, "Yes I did, and I take full responsibility for my actions.  Do with me as you will, but leave Eve out of this.  She is innocent."

 

Verse 12 is not in the Bible.  The world would be a different place if that is what Adam had said.  If only he had thrown himself down and said, "I'm here to protect and defend the reputation of my wife.  I take full responsibility for everything." 

 

Verse 12 actually says this.  The man said, "The woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."  I didn't ask for a woman, I didn't even know what a woman was.  There was just you and me and the animals.  It was a little lonely, but I was fine.  And then you took this rib out of me and you made this woman.  Look at the mess and the chaos that she has created.  God, this isn't my fault.  This is your fault and her fault.  So you guys work it out, and leave me out of it.  She gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.  Ultimately, I'm not responsible for all of this.  

 

Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this that you have done?"  And the woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate it.  It's not my fault either." 

 

Irresponsibility that leads to blame always creates conflict.  Where there is blame there is usually irresponsibility, shame and guilt.  Isn't it amazing and so rare when somebody steps up and says, "I'm to blame for what happened?  It may not all be my fault, but I'm responsible. 

 

Are we taking responsibility for our life, or are we blaming God or others?

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining    

Enjoying God

Enjoying God

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

 

When you have a general belief in God, you go to Him for things.   When you've begun to experience the glory of God, who He is and what He does becomes an end in itself.

 

What if you would come to the top of a bluff and look down at an incredible vista of the ocean with waves breaking on the sea as far as you can see.  It's beautiful!  You sit down, and you just put your fist on your chin and look at it.  You can't get enough of it!  What are you trying to accomplish?  Nothing!  It's satisfying in itself and fills you up.

 

When your prayer life is like this you've begun to approach the glory and presence of God.  To glorify Him means to enjoy Him.  We glorify God by enjoying Him forever!  John Piper says it this way:  "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining