Promises or Preparation

Promises or Preparation

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is in the excerpt.

Every single Saturday couples take vows to get married that they can’t keep even though they mean well.  They overlooked a principle that all of us understand in every other realm of life, but when it comes to relationships we don’t think it is true.  Promises are no substitute for preparation.  If you’ve ever entered a long distance race you know all about this.  It’s one thing to sign up for a race, but it’s another thing to prepare for it.  If you are not prepared, then it’s a waste of time to promise that you will finish.  What determines whether or not you finish a long distance race is not the promise, but it’s whether or not you are prepared.  Everybody understands that, but when it comes to relationships people think, “I can promise my way past my lack of preparation.”  Just because you say “I do,” doesn’t make you able or capable, but it only makes you accountable.  When you are accountable for something that you are not capable of doing, you become miserable.  A lack of preparation cannot be trumped by a promise. 

I want you to prepare to commit so that when you make a commitment, you will be highly unlikely to marry someone that has also not prepared to commit themselves.  Your life will be moving in such a specific direction that anyone whose life is not moving in that same direction will be in such conflict with your values and way of life that you won’t be interested.  Perhaps they won’t be interested in you either.

A prudent person is a person that understands that all of life is connected.  What happened yesterday impacts tomorrow.  What I am doing today will eventually become my past, and it will show up in my future.  The wisest man that ever lived, Solomon, says in Proverbs 14:8 that the wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways.  Ways are behaviors, patterns, habits, and trends, and they are what makes us predictable.  The wise person gives thought to how they do and manage things.  The prudent person knows that the best indicator of my future behavior is my past behavior.  If I want to know where I’m actually going to be all I have to do is look back at where I have been and see what direction I’m headed in.   The prudent person pays attention not to commitments and promises, but they pay attention to their past.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

 

The Least of These

The Least of These

 

The short excerpt is by Katie Davis from her book, Kisses from Katie.  I highly recommend this book.  She left Brentwood, TN to serve in Uganda after high school and at 24 is still there serving. She has also adopted 13 girls and has established a ministry that feeds and sends hundreds more to school while teaching them about Jesus. The scripture is Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

 

I certainly don’t believe everyone should sell all of their belongings and pack a suitcase and move to Africa.  I don’t think people all over the planet should drop everything to go somewhere far from everything to go somewhere far from everything familiar and be missionaries.  In fact, I believe anyone can be a missionary right where they are.

  

I don’t always want to help other people.  Generally speaking, I do.  But there are certain days when I, like everyone else in the world, simply want to do what I need to do and keep moving.  It’s part of being human.  But so often, when we stop to be kind when we don’t really want to, that’s when the sacrifice becomes most rewarding.

 

The night in 2007 was cold and rainy.  I was walking out of the supermarket on Main Street in downtown Jinja, on my way home.  Then I saw him.  Huddled on the street corner, drenched and shivering, was a little boy.  At that moment, all I really wanted to think about was getting home, getting dry, and crawling into my warm bed.  But a voice inside told me to stop.

 

I took the little boy inside the supermarket to dry him off a bit and bought him some biscuits and juice.  I gave him my sweatshirt, a small wooden cross I carried in my pocket, and some change so he could get a ride home.

 

As he left, he called, “What is your name?”

 

“Katie,” I responded, “Auntie Katie.”

 

“Me, I am Daniel,” he shouted and disappeared into the wet chilly night.

 

About a year later, I walked in to supermarket to buy food for my family and got caught in a big hug.  Two small brown arms wrapped around me as a child’s voice excitedly proclaimed, “Auntie Katie!”

 

I looked down to see Daniel.  Beaming.

 

“Wait,” he urged me.

 

He hurried to the nearest street vendor and bought me a popsicle with the little pocket change he had.  He then dug his little hand in his pocket and pulled out the small wooden cross.  Looking at me with a wide grin, he spoke words that pierced my heart:  “I have never stopped praying for you every day.”

 

To this day, I think of that story and stand amazed at the goodness of our God and the enormous things He can accomplish if I am obedient to His command to stop and love the person in front of me.   He didn’t just remember my face; he remembered my name.  He prayed for me.  He prayed for my safety and for the opportunity to see me again.  I blessed him just one cold night, and he blessed me every day after that for an entire year.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Honoring Women

Honoring Women

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is Philippians 4:8. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Pornography is bad for you and it’s a sin against you, your marriage, and your girlfriend or wife.  Research has come out from people that don’t claim to be Christians telling us that something actually begins to change chemically in a man’s mind.  This is destroying marriages.  Real women can’t compete with images, and pornography may actually be a pathway that leads you to view women as a commodity

The new research is showing that pornography is essentially a drug that deadens your desire for real women.  The tragedy is that there are a bunch of single guys that thought all of that need that those images have met for them would one day be met by their wife.  You are surrounded by married men who thought the same thing, and they kept going back to porn.  When their wives found out about it they were heartbroken.  They wake up every single day thinking, “I’ve got to compete with a thousand women that don’t even really exist.”  Over time porn will destroy your own desire for a real woman. 

If you met a woman that you really respected a whole lot (maybe a famous actress, etc.), you would defer to her.  Defer means, “You have that chair.  Let me get that for you.  Let me hear your story.”  You would honor her.  Men, that’s how you are to treat every woman that you ever meet because they’re all made in the image of God and their heavenly Father is your heavenly Father.  You know how to honor her.  It’s the girl at the office, the lady in the neighborhood, it’s all of them. 

I’m going to suggest to some of you single guys that you no longer date until one year from today, so you can spend that year renewing your mind.  You come to church, read, sit and absorb, and you change your passwords and give them to a friend and tell him that there are some places that you can’t go.  You get rid of some media, and you clean out your play list.  In that year you will change the way that you treat women and the way that you think about women.  You will be a different person.  You will have put away the ways of childhood, and you will have finally grown up to become the man that God created you to become and called you to be. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

A Biblical Way To View Women-Part 2

A Biblical Way To View Women-Part 2

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is 1 Peter 3:7  Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 

Peter writes this down because he wants men to assign to women honor.  All that the weaker partner meant was that the men could probably beat the women in an arm wrestling match.  He's not talking about women being less intelligent or important.  This was in a world where might made right.  What the strongest or most powerful said was the right thing to do.  Peter is saying, "Men, you are to use your power for the sake of those that lack power.  Leverage your physical, financial and influential strength to help the weak.  If you are a married man, you make sure that you leverage your power not for your sake but for her sake.  The women of your life answer to the same heavenly Father that you do.  Be careful how you treat her.  God will not answer your prayers if you don't treat women right.  Your responsibility is to honor and treat them with respect because they are daughters of your heavenly Father.  You are accountable to God for how you treat them."

Men, you are going to have to renew your mind to think correctly about women, and you aren't going to get much help from culture.   If you have on your playlist any song that refers to a woman as a bitch or a whore, erase it today from your playlist forever.  In every country where there has been a genocide or slavery, it has begun when they have dehumanized an individual by ascribing a label or a name to that person.  In Rwanda the Hutus said that the Tutsis were simply cockroaches, so they decided that they could stomp them out because they weren't even people.  Over 800,000 people died.  If you continue to entertain yourself with terminology and phrases that talks about women as bitches and whores, that is how you are going to give yourself permission to treat them. 

Every time that you sit down and entertain yourselves with pornography and pictures of naked women you are at school, and you are learning three very important lessons.  Lesson number one is that a real body isn't good enough.  Lesson number two is that one body isn't good enough.  Lesson number three is that your wife's body isn't good enough.  There are married men that are confused as to what is going on inside of them.  The problem is that for years they were going to school learning these lessons.  If you are single and look forward to a great romantic relationship with a woman down the road, the best thing that you can do is to check out of this school.  This school sets you up with extraordinary disappointment. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

A Biblical Way To View Women

A Biblical Way To View Women

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is 1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 

In children's stories it always ends when the right people meet each other, and they live happily ever after.  That's the childhood way of thinking about relationships.  It's not only about finding the right person, but it's also about becoming the right person.  Men, I want to talk with you about a biblical way to view women.  In our culture women are viewed, talked and sung about like a commodity.  A commodity is something I use, so when I'm done using it I'm going to trade it in or sell it or move on to a different commodity.   In our culture every single day we get this message.  The message for women is, "Take me, use me, do whatever you want to with me, and then trade me in for another one."  Consequently, we've got a bunch of men who think like little boys, and they think that women are commodities. 

In the first century women weren't simply viewed and treated like a commodity, they were a commodity.  Prostitution was legal and encouraged.  Men in the Roman and Greek world owned slaves.  The richer that you were the more slaves that you owned and the more female slaves that you owned.  You could do with a female slave anything that you wanted including selling her or have her put to death.  There was an epidemic of mistreatment of women.  They had no status or voice, and even women in wealthy households were only a step or two above a slave.  In Roman culture you could only have one wife, but they had many mistresses. 

Into this world Jesus and his followers spoke.  In the Christian communities the status of women were elevated.  Women flocked to these little churches because they were viewed a completely different way.  Jesus said in John 13:34 A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  This includes women!  Peter walked up one day and saw Jesus speaking to a Samaritan woman alone, and all of the disciples were shocked because men didn't talk to women because they were considered non people.  Jesus died for the women as well as the men.  Be careful how you treat them.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Act Your Way Into a Feeling

Act Your Way Into a Feeling

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by and the Scripture is by Dr. Tim Elmore, and the scripture is 1 John 3:18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

Miami Vice was a story of two rugged cops who used unconventional methods to get their job done.  Don Johnson, star of the 1980s TV show Miami Vice, was the man back in his day.   He was cool and tough.  One day as he entered his hotel room, he saw a thief rifling through his fiances purse.  The man had just robbed the place and was determined to get away with his loot.  When Don Johnson saw the thief he didn't have to think twice.  He took off after the crook, wrestled him to the ground and held the thief until police came to arrest him.  One bystander commented, "It was an amazing situation, just like the show!"

Don Johnson had so embraced the character he played over and over, it was intuitive for him to pursue the criminal that day.  It was second nature.  He had "acted" his way into a character.  You are more likely to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action.  There is power in raw action.

Psychologist George w. Crane become known for a case he handled with a female client.  The woman came to see Dr. Crane and told him she hated her husband and wanted to divorce him.  She told the psychologist how selfish her husband was, and she wanted to hurt him as badly as possible.  "Well, in that case," replied Dr. Crane, "I'd advise you to start showering him with compliments.  Make him his favorite meals and serve him in any way you can.  Do all you can to communicate you love him, and when you've become indispensable to him, then present the divorce papers to him.  This is the best way to hurt him deeply."

Dr. Crane sent her off and asked her to call in a few months to let him know when she was ready to begin the divorce proceedings.  Interestingly, she never called.  When Dr. Crane finally spoke to her and asked if she was ready for the divorce-she emphatically resisted.  "Divorce him?" she responded.  "I changed my mind.  When I began acting like I loved him, I discovered I really did."

We must become the change we desire.  We can't afford to wait until we "feel" like it.  We're more likely to act our way into a feeling than to feel our way into an action. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Bible Doing

Bible Doing

Dear Champions,

 

The short excerpt is from Bob Goff's book, Love Does, and the Scripture is James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

 

The first thing I did was quit going to what Christians call a "Bible Study."  A Bible study sounds like a wholesome thing to go to, and honestly, it is.  They can come in as many flavors as there are people leading them.  At the ones I went to, I learned a bunch of facts and information about Jesus.  We might be studying how a guy named Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus.  The leader would open up a reference book and say something like, "The word dead means in the Greek .  .  ."  And then he'd say, "In the Hebrew the word means . . . "  Sometimes he'd get really into it and talk about the difference between the Greek version of dead and the Hebrew version.  Then he'd ask us a compelling question.    Something like, "When was the last time you felt dead?  Huh?  I asked myself.  Honestly, who really needs to hear a definition of dead?  And what difference did it make?  I wanted to talk about how I could do a better job following Jesus, how to practice kindness, and what might be possible to do with my faith before I'm the Greek or the Hebrew version of dead.

 

The guy's intentions were totally pure, so I don't mean to trash him or anything.  Most Wednesday nights, when I left the Bible study, I found I couldn't remember a single thing we'd talked about either.  But then I realized the reason I didn't remember anything was because, in the big scheme of things, it really didn't seem important to me.

 

So I started getting together with the same guys each week and instead of calling it a Bible study, we call it a "Bible doing."  We've been at it for fifteen years now, and I've found there's a big difference between the two.  At our Bible doing, we read what God has to say and then focus all of our attention on what we are going to do about it.  Just agreeing isn't enough.  I can't think of a single time where Jesus asked His friends to just agree with Him.

 

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining