For Intimacy, Monogamy Matters

For Intimacy, Monogamy Matters

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the scripture is 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Cassette tapes are obsolete. Monogamy is more like an endangered species-something to be fed and protected.  The value a culture places on monogamy determines the welfare of its women and children. Women and children do not fare well in societies that embrace polygamy or promiscuity. In the majority of cases, sexual freedom undermines the financial freedom of women. Sexual freedom eventually undermines the financial and emotional security of children.

If we are only biology, none of the above really matters. All's well that ends with the survival of the species. If we are only biology, monogamy was probably a flawed concept from the start. But very few of us live as if we are only biology.  As a pastor, I've officiated my share of weddings and I've done my share of premarital counseling. I always ask couples why they are getting married. Survival of the species never makes the list.

We desire intimacy—to know and to be fully known without fear. Intimacy is fragile. Intimacy is powerful. Intimacy is fueled by exclusivity.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Male & Female Gifts

Male & Female Gifts

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Tim Keller, and the scripture is Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Little boy babies, when they come to an obstacle, they want to push it over.  Girl babies, when they get next to an obstacle, they want to go around it.  Boy babies prefer lower complexity of stimuli.  Girl babies prefer higher complexity of stimuli.  At six months old, when girl babies hear jazz, their hearts start beating faster, and boy babies just ignore it.  It's a proven fact.  There are differences.  In Carol Gilligan's book, In A Different Voice, research has shown that men see themselves maturing as they separate and become independent and make impact.  Women see themselves maturing as they attach themselves, as they become interdependent.  Men, therefore, have the gift of independence, and women have the gift of interdependence. 

For men, the gift of independence has a tendency to become tyranny.  The female gift of interdependence has a tendency to become dependent.  In Genesis 3 after Adam and Eve rebel against God, God says to Adam, "You will sweat and work in the dust of the ground and thorns and thistles will come up."  And then He says to Eve, "You will have pain in childbearing and your desire will be for your husband, but he will rule over you." 

When God curses humanity, He curses different aspects.  When He curses Adam, He curses his work.  He says, "Your need and your desire to have an impact on the world, to be independent, to achieve, to have impact, is going to become an idol.  It's going to become too important to you, and you will always be frustrated because it will never give you what you want."  He turns to the wife, and He curses her relationships.  He says, "You will want your husband desperately, but your husband will rule over you."  The teaching is that the wife's interdependence gift under the influence of sin will trip her up.  She will become a dependent person.  The husband whose independent gift is now under the influence of sin, instead of being an independent person, he will be a tyrant and will rule over her and master her.  When masculinity and femininity go bad, the independence becomes tyranny and interdependence becomes dependence.  The Bible teaches that under the influence of sin men will tend to oppress women, and women will tend to make it easy for them. 

Men and women in marriage are supposed to learn to submit to one another.

 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining