Thursday, September 26, 2013

Becoming the Right Person

Becoming the Right Person


The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

One woman shared the following with Andy Stanley.  She grew up in a moderately religious home and was kind of taught all of the right things.  After college she moved to Atlanta and just kind of immersed herself into dating the way the culture says to date.  She said, "It's not that I quit believing or had some kind of theological epiphany that Jesus isn't the Son of God or that the Bible isn't true.  I just decided that didn't matter at this stage of my life.  I'm just going to live the life and just get out there and date like crazy and hopefully find that right guy.  I was in pretty deep in that whole scene. 

One evening I was with a group of people, and there was a guy in the group that I had never met before.  We started talking, and he was the total package-looks, job, car, and personality.  He was also a Christian and was living out his Christian faith in the market place and in his relationships.  He had standards, and there were things he wouldn't do.  It just brought back things in my own past that I really used to believe and practice.  I said that all of that doesn't really work in this culture and in this stage of my life, yet here's this guy that is the whole package living out these values.

A day or so later I was at home and I was talking to my mom and I was going on and on about this guy, and my mom turned to me and said, 'Honey, the problem is that a guy like that is not looking for a girl like you.'  When my mom said that I just fell to the floor in a puddle of tears because I knew that she was exactly right.  That was the defining moment for me when I decided to do what all along I knew in my heart I needed to do.  That's when I decided that no matter how long it took, I was going to become the woman that a guy like that was looking for.   It was a total game changer for me."

Are you who the person that you are looking for is looking for?   The key to a great relationship isn't finding the right person.  It is becoming the right person.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining 

Friday, September 20, 2013

Connection or Distance

Connection or Distance

 Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is thought provoking and is by Danny Silk from Redding, CA.  The Scripture is Matthew 19:4-6 Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

The number one issue that leads to divorce is that I have changed my goal from connection to distance.  As soon as I do that in any relationship there's really nothing that you can do right.  When my goal is distance from you all that you can do is feed my justification for keeping distance from you.  So I misinterpret you, I judge you, and I assign motives to you that are not true so that I can protect my distance from you.  That's why it is so important that we learn to take responsibility for our goal in relationship.

If my goal is connection, then I need different skills to interact with you and to create and protect a connection.  When my goal is distance then I have different skills because all of my skills help me create the distance that I need to keep myself from you.  Am I managing my goal of connection with you, or have I changed my goal to distance?  That is the number one killer of relationships.

No one falls out of love.  You just change your goals.  You didn't fall out of love and you didn't fall in love.  You choose love, and you choose your goal.  Love is not a big hole in the street that you fall in.  You might have been very attracted to someone and that felt fantastic, but you chose love. When you committed your life to somebody, maybe you didn't understand what you were doing, but that was a decision that you made.  You decided to eliminate all of your other options and put your focus on this one person. That's a decision.  If you didn't make that decision, that's a bummer for you and the person that you married because you didn't understand covenant.  

You choose love.  You don't fall into it.  You don't fall out of it, you choose out of it.  This makes you very responsible for what you do in a loving relationship.

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

P.S.  You have to ask the question why one would distance him or herself.  It is a protective mechanism within each of us.  It is possible that some people have a valid reason to distance themselves.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

The Number 1 Regret

Number 1 Regret

 

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley, and the Scripture is James 4:14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

The number one most common regret by people in the last days of their lives shared to Hospice nurse Branny Ware of Australia is that I wish that I had the courage to live a life true to myself and not a life other people and culture expected of me.  Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made or not had. 

Our days are numbered, but we live as though we are going to live forever here on Earth. Health brings a freedom very few realize until they no longer have it.  

Our time is limited, so we need to limit how we spend our time.  Our time is our life! 

Father, Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining

Friday, September 6, 2013

Our Time is Limited

Our Time is Limited

Dear Champions,

The short excerpt is by Andy Stanley and the Scripture is Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Branny Ware is an Australian nurse, and she spends most of her time in Hospice with people that are in their last days of their life.  She asked these patients of hers if they had any regrets.  She began to hear a pattern, so she wrote them down.  The second most common regret is that "I had worked too hard."  Every single man at the end of his life said this.  They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship.  Women also spoke of this regret, but many of them were from an older generation and had not been bread winners.  This means that if we don't learn to number our days that we will misspend our time and life and we will have a regrettable and avoidable regret.  When you think that you have all the time in the world and then you suddenly realize that you don't have all of the time in the world, you can't go back.  These are men and women that are numbering their days because they cannot avoid any longer that their days are numbered.

So what are you going to do with this wisdom you now have that comes with living as if your days are numbered?  What are you going to do with that when you look at your current schedule, pace and limits?

"But Andy, if I don't do as much as I can I will never make it."

What is "it"?  You better make sure that you have chosen the right "it" because you could spend your whole life trying to make "it" and get to the end and realize that it was the wrong "it".

Champions, have a great week!-David Vining